nirvana+silly old teacher
This story is from about 8 years ago. I was in my second year of secondary school. It's pretty shit, as you'll probably recall. We used tapes then in language classes, random French people repeating the same stuff over and over about the train to paris and the weather and so forth. Bored the tits off us it did.
As well as this, the teacher decided - unjustly, I might add - that I was a scurvy cheating bastard. Now this teacher was about 60, a kind-hearted but rather racist and bigoted Catholic (it was a Catholic school, being Ireland), and so scatterbrained that she once brought us up before the principal for stealing her book, before finding it in her locker. Convinced that French was a language one spoke through the nose, she let a friend of mine go one day because he had a headcold. Seriously.
Anyway, as I was such a cheating swine, I was seated by my lonesome right before her frightfully blank face - blank except for the eerily perfectly-shaped triangle of spit that formed at the sides of her mouth when she talked a lot. This position gave me the perfect opportunity to swipe one of the aforementioned tapes (with slow moves, first I'd move it a bit toward me as she was looking away, I'd put it behind her pencil case as she shut her eyes yawning, and then snatch it) and bring it home with me.
What would I do with it? I'd show the silly old one what was what. I brought it home, and dug out the heaviest rockingest cd I had - Nevermind (I was about 14) - and edited the tape so that it had 30 seconds of introduction, then a beep signifying the class had to pay attention to what was said, then the sound of guitars being forced into some sort of feedback-lubricated orgy. I remember thinking it was the greatest prank I would ever do.

So next week, I take my place at the front, surreptitiously place the tape up on the desk (she hadn't even missed it, and wasn't surprised to find it) and sat back in tense anticipation. A friend of mine was keeping his ear open in the class next door. I hadn't told anyone else of this, hoping for a shock.

So she puts in the tape, presses play. I'm trying my best not to smile. The French guy starts giving his intro, seconds to go till the beep. What happens?
This is what happens. One of the kids at the back of the class spotted an opportunity to annoy the teacher and waste time, and called for a tape that we hadn't heard. She gives in (why the fuck did she give in?) presses stop right on the beep, and switches the tape. I was fucking heartbroken.
I can only assume though, that at some point that tape shocked some old french teacher and made some kids laugh, which is a consolation. Still, though, it would have been legendary.

Length? About half an hour of the best rock bastardry, which made it all the worse.
(schlafmuetze, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 23:26, Reply)