I never wanted Thursday to come so fast.
A few weeks ago, I was strolling through the Northumberland countryside en-route to visit my aunt Flossie. Being a little tired of foot and restless of spirit, I took the opportunity of TWOC-ing a tractor from a dirt track while the owner/driver was busy up another dirt track (that of a handsome moorland ewe).

To cut a long story short, there was a bit of a pursuit involving rozzers, heifers, and a telegraph pole. I ditched troublesome tractor, but not before pocketing the cabs contents for perusal afterwards.

I got home quite late that night (Flossie had been entertaining me with tales of her exploits as a table dancer in the Phillipines) armed with a marvellous recipie for Madiera cake which I just had to bake immediately.

I had the rats livers and sparrows feet liquidising nicely in the blender, but was searching for naval lint to add when I found the TDK-90 'chrome' audio cassette I'd liberated from the Massey-Ferguson earlier. I held it up to the light to read the scribbled label, as all I'd heard of it on the stereo seemed to be a recording of agricultural fair announcements (mmmnnnggghhhppp - beer tent - cccrrrrssshhhhpppppp - St. Johns Ambulance - mmmmggggrrrrreeeeeeewwhhheeee - Lovely rump! etc. etc) interspersed with various tracks by Foster & Allen and the Wurzels.

Just as I was inspecting the illegible scrawl, the tape fell into the blender and was snaffled up by the whirring blades. As the mixture was almost complete, I just carried on and baked the thing anyway. It smelled and smoked a bit in the oven, but looked alright. In fact, I was so happy with the result, I played an uplifting little bongo drum style ditty on it while it cooled.

I presented it on a Vauxhall wheeltrim platter the next day when my mother came round. She's great, my mother. In fact, you could say she's a:







Wait for it.............












"P.A.-Tape, Pat-a-cake baker's mam"

Fuck me, bring on the new question please.... see what I'm reduced to?!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 14:45, 6 replies)

Oh dear, oh dear
*puts head in hands*
*loses will to live*


*wonders if the Bolivians, the Swiss, and the Malians have difficulty getting hold of naval lint*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 14:51, closed)

hmmm
get your point enzyme, but:
would naval not also be valid referral to something of the navel?

I should stop trying to be posh and just call it 'belly-button fluff' eh?!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 14:56, closed)

Apologies...
... but I'm as bored as you.

"Navel" would serve as the adjectival form.

Or you could go for "omphalic". But that somehow makes you sound like a tuba-player.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 14:58, closed)

Go for omphalic
I never, ever get the opportunity to use the wonderful word Omphalos in normal everyday life....please start to use it and bring it into current parlance and not just for use around classics geeks.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 15:07, closed)

Chickenlady...
I love using the word "omphaloscopic" in relation to whiney self-obsessed people. 'S'great.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 15:08, closed)

Ren & Stimpy
did an omphaloscopic episode once. One of them became fixated with his own umbilicus and eventually fell in.

It was a world of funky music and 60's psychadelic swirly colours (typical of a tv representation of acid flashbacks).

It was my favourite.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 11 Feb 2008, 15:14, closed)