Bean
Firstly just a repeat of all the heartfelt respect and good vibes that everyone else has sent to you, and then perhaps a few words from my own experience.

My own Mum died of cancer when I was 10, and my bro was 7. My Dad brought the two of us up on his own, having told us very early on after she died that whatever women may come in to his life, they would never get in the way of us three guys. And so it proved to be - he had various girlfriends (if that is what you can call them when talking about your own Dad) all of whom were kicked into touch after varying amounts of time when he felt that either me or my brother did not like them. Sounds a bit weird, but I think we saved him from a couple of nutters on more than one occasion and we just wanted our Dad to ourselves.

As we grew up, just being the three of us seemed perfectly normal, and I think I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have been alone and had a little cry coz I missed my mummy and wished she was around just one more time.

Forward to today - my dad is 81 in March - my son (Samuel - you blue eyed beauty!) was born 2 and a half years ago and my daughter (called Yasmin!!!!) was born just over 10 weeks ago. My Dad is still single, though has a friend who he sees when they can both be bothered as far as I can tell, and I only rarely think about how I wish that my mum could see the two kids I now have.

I wish that my Dad HAD found someone to be with, but he has maintained all his life that he would not change anything as far as looking after his boys is concerned.

I do not have any words that can experess how much I love him.


My point here is that time WILL heal - but it wont take away those feelings that will sometimes creep up on you when you might not expect them. Don't fight it - I can vouch for the relief and release that a good sob can do for a grown man every now and again - and embrace what you have.

I think you have shown amazing strength and character, and I have no doubt your daughter will understand soon enough (if she does not already) what a great Dad she has. I hope I can do and be the same for my own.

I now have to wipe away a few tears and go to a business meeting.

Fuck.

*breathes deeply and audibly for a bit*



*and now feeling a bit better*

lots of clicks....
(Spreddum O Grrrr. That's my vicious circle, that is., Wed 13 Feb 2008, 6:46, Reply)