And story 2
Sharing a cab in to a pub to catch up with some friends (same pub as below actually) with a mate (same mate as below too actually) the cab driver pulls up at the lights and indicates left.
"Where are you going?" We ask, "the pub's right."
"No no no, you can't turn right to get there, you have to turn left here, go up that road there, right at the top and then right again."
"Bullshit, just turn left here go up about three blocks, turn right and bingo, there it is."
"No no no, I assure you, you can't get there that way. There's no left turn from this street. It's a blocked road."
"What? Devonshire street is blocked from Elizabeth street? Since when? It wasn't blocked when I drove down it this morning on the way to the airport."
(Background here. It was Sydney, both myself and the other passenger had just returned from an interstate day trip and were discussing how good the weather was. The driver had clearly assumed we were from out of town and was out to jack the fare up with a nice tour of the city).
The driver slumps. Local knowledge was clearly something he hadn't been counting on.
"Umm. Isn't it blocked? I could have sworn it was... Um. Blocked. Oh that's right, it's not blocked after all, yes! Not blocked!"
"No it fucking well isn't as you always knew. How fucking stupid do you think we are? Turn right here, go through two sets of lights, turn left again, go up two blocks and stop, it's that simple. You obviously thought we don't know where we're going, well we do. And what's your licence number? We're reporting this..." etc etc etc insert all sorts of sarcastic "ooh look you can turn right!" and so forth for the rest of the trip.
We pull up ("Oooh! Look, it's right here where we said it would be!!") hand over the exact money, to the five cents, slam the door, farewell the driver with a hearty "Fuck off you thieving prick!" as he drives away into the darkness and step into the pub filled with smug righteousness prepared to regale everyone with how we outsmarted the larcenous cabbie.
"Fuck," says my mate, "I've left my phone in the cab."
( difficultchild, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 1:54, 3 replies)

I once had a Sydney cabbie
think I'd give him a blowjob for a fare. William St to Central Station.

A fukkin $6 fare!
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 3:43, closed)

I'd have driven the long way round to jack the fare up a bit and ask again...
...sorry
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 12:15, closed)

He had
:)
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 20:25, closed)