unfortunate rollover
After breaking up with my 5-year girlfriend, I moved into my own apartment. We got back together, but did not move back in together. In a raucous romp with the other woman one morning before work, my phone, which was in the bed, rang. In the throws of it (very loudly), I thought I silenced it, but actually pressed the "answer" button. I did not realize what had happened until after we were through with it when I heard from the phone phrases such a "bitch," "cunt," "I'll kill you," etc. from girlfriend on the other end of the line.

She took me back again once after that. Still feel bad about that one.
(ez_e, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 4:42, 8 replies)

Seeing as this story makes up 2 of your 3 QOTW posts to date...
...presumably you're expecting some congratulation, a high five and people generally telling you what a top bloke and all-round 'lad' you are.

Well, sorry to say it, but you're not.

Seemingly, you're just a dick.
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 4:59, closed)

^ This.

( Bats, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 8:27, closed)

*claps*
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Should have been kicked to the curb right after that
(MissFlee tried again on, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 10:14, closed)

"Integrity" into "you"
won't go. I just tried doing the sums.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 8:08, closed)

Throes
Not "throws".

Bloody homophones.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 8:53, closed)

are homophones
prejudiced against gay sounds?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 10:13, closed)

It Could Have Been Worse

'Cos I parsed that as:

"After breaking up with my 5-year-old girlfriend"

But you're still a cunt

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 5 Aug 2009, 13:52, closed)

"Still feel bad about that one"
You fucking well should.
(Scritty Bakerman., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 3:10, closed)