Twisted Firestarter
Camping with friends, we staggered back to the site after hitting the local pub. One of our number announced that it wasn't a proper camping trip without a camp fire. It was pointed out to him that fires weren't permitted in this site. "No problem," he replied, "We'll have it over in the woods there." It was further pointed out that we were in the middle of a drought, and there were brushfire warnings posted around. But, undeterred, he set off with a group of others, and disappeared into the trees.

Personally I was thraiped, so I crawled into my tent and took no further part in the night's activities. In the morning I headed into the woods for a morning piss, and discovered the site of the bonfire - it wasn't hard, as the underbrush was smouldering in a ring that had expanded from the fire to about three metres across. I emptied my bladder over it, but even with several pints of Hampshire's finest begging for release, it was clear that the burning area was too large for one trouser-snake to defeat.

So I ran back to the others, and told them that the entire New Forest was about to burn down. Naturally, the only supply of water was several hundred metres away, but after a frantic period of shuttling water cans, we managed to put it out.

At this point, the Firestarter himself emerged from his tent, and we set upon him with boots and sarcasm, letting him know what an utter knob-end he'd been, leaving the fire still smouldering like that.

We really thought he would know better. He was an actual fire-fighter, after all...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 13:20, 2 replies)

Are you sure he was a firefighter?
He might have been an flame, posing undercover as a firefighter.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 30 Jan 2015, 15:50, closed)

Most firefighters are secretly arsonists.
Your mate was just a bit more open about it than most.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 30 Jan 2015, 22:07, closed)