Long Haired Golden Retriever
There is a lack of lulz in this post and its quite long so if you looking for that move along or head to the handy TLDR version wayyyyyyy below

Years ago when I was just a spotty teenager we had a Long Haired Golden Retriever. We got it for a few reasons mainly company, security and the odd time hunting (my family shoots pheasants (not peasants).

So it turns out that the dog was pretty useless at that last part. So useless in fact that as soon as the first shot rang out the dog hit the ground and refused point blank to move. There was nothing else to do so we left him there (we weren't far from home so it wasn't like we abandoned him). 4 hours later we come back and the dog is still there in the same spot. Once it seen we were heading towards the car though he followed quite quickly.

He loved (like most dogs) water or mud or anything that remotely resembled water or mud. Like when it jumped into freshly laid concrete foundations and slowly but quite happily "swam" for a while before we were able to drag him out and sprayed him with the hose for about half an hour, thankfully that done the trick and no vet had to be called.

Was heartbroken years later when he had a stoke and I was half way down the country when I got the news, I went to get a bus home but when I got to the bus station I realized that I had left my ticket for the bus in the house and had 0 money to pay for a new one. Before the next bus (6 or 7 hours later) arrived the dog had been put down, if I had made the bus I would have had the chance to say bye, it wouldn't have meant much for the dog but it would have meant the world to me.

Christ thinking back now I’ve had my fair share of loss when it comes to pets, seen 2 of my dogs get ran over before my eyes (one protecting her pups the other was the pup she saved years later when it followed me out the gate when I was cycling). A day after he died my parents bought me new football boots to keep my spirit up and the first thing I did was go to where we buried him to "show Paddy my new boots".

I went to see Marley and Me with the girlfriend a week after my Westie had died of old age. The end was scene for scene what we did pretty much, wrapped in favourite blanket under a tree in the back yard.

The same Westie though killed 2 of my hamsters (it’s what they are bred for, well maybe not hamsters specifically but ya know) so I had to tell him good dog when he brought them to me.

Then there was the time I was eating Sunday dinner and half way through my Ma asked where the lamb was from to which my Granda replied laughing "well we aren't sure if it’s Larney or Barney" both of whom were my pet lambs

TLDR: gun dog was afraid of loud noises, other dog sacrificed itself to protect its pup who later in life got killed by a car anyway, other dog killed 2 pet hamsters and I ate (at least) one of my lambs
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 10:22, 1 reply)

That gets a click for the tl;dr alone :)
But to be honest I'd have clicked it anyway...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 1 Feb 2013, 13:29, closed)