Some time in the mid nineties.
Imagine a much younger badger slowly opening his eyes. Then closing them hurridly. The light. God, not the light. Try and turn over carefully so as not to disturb the angry, rapey bear in your head. But you can't. The bed's too small. Shit, you've got a double bed, right? But this is a single. And there's someone in it. Oh. Arse.

But .. on the plus side, it's very, very definitely female. And stunning. Oh my. Search memory, fuckfuckfuck .. nothing. Not a sausage. There was ... it must be Thursday? there was definitely a BUSA game yesterday afternoon, we were at home, I think we won. Oh, christ, that probably means Los Locos. Fuckspiders.

She stirs. A bit of a cuddle. Good stuff. But I've not the faintest fucking idea what happened so I need to try and extracte myself with panache. I get up and try and find my clothes, conspicuously writing down my phone number so I don't get accused of legging it. Now the tricky bit

"erm, I'm a little hazy about exactly where we are now?"
"we're in my room, obviously"
"...."
"in the nurse's accomodation here?"
"...."
"Walthamstow Hospital"
".. ?"
"hang on ... can you even remember my name?"

Oh shit, that's the sucker punch. Desperately scan the room. Fair bit of Catholic stuff, sudden flash of inspiration! "of course I can, Mary!"

She punched me. So, my morning after souvenir was twofold. A lovely black eye, and no bastard memory whatsover, to this day, of a night spent with a gorgeous Catholic nurse.

she did call me though. She was called Sarah.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:49, 42 replies)

you spelled hurriedly wrong

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:54, closed)

Sorry Quints. I'll try harder next time.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:56, closed)

I think you mean Whipps Cross Hospital as well, IF INDEED THIS STORY OF SEX EVER HAPPENED AT ALL

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:00, closed)

THERE IS NO SEX.
Or maybe there was. That's the fucking problem, I've no idea.

But, no, I was definitely in Walthmstow, I walked to Walthamstow tube for the Victoria line of shame.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:03, closed)

IT MUST HAVE BEEN WHIPPS CROSS
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SUITS HERE
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:07, closed)

Steady, you're channeling Al again.
Anyway, it's /QOTW. Obviously it's all massive aspergers lies.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:13, closed)

www.b3ta.com/links/Truth_about_trolls
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:34, closed)

aww, bless
Rory's not a troll. He's just a cuddly wee bear.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:38, closed)

He's such a prick ent he

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:51, closed)

He attempts trolling.
In a sad and pathetic way.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:55, closed)

seems to be working tho

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:02, closed)

Not really.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:04, closed)

you seem wound up, and i rather think that is the point

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:05, closed)

^

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:23, closed)

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:42, closed)

I had been hoping you were dead

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:51, closed)

I haven't thought about you at all.

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:03, closed)

:'(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:18, closed)

Not wound up quinten, it is just funny to see rory blow his top on the many occasions when he attempts to troll and is laughed at..
I understand you two are buddies as everyone needs a friend, so your defence of our retarded rory is very sweet.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:58, closed)

^I have to agree with Mock turtle rory tries very badly to troll and ends up getting angry himself. Small penis syndrome if ever I saw it^
( Trollman, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 12:18, closed)

That’s not what your dear old Gran said, right slag she were, minging arsehole but went like a train with a bit of greasing up from a tesco tub of marg.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 12:33, closed)

Getting better rory.
4/10
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:07, closed)

What sort of self important prick arbitrarily scores postings on qotw
You've gone down in my estimations today
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:50, closed)

And the anger starts.
You are meant to be the troll making other people angry.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:02, closed)

haha lyon is hulking out
( Trollman, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:04, closed)

Gaz me if you ever find out what a troll is

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, closed)

Gaz you? Is this your attempt at sexy time?
You certainly are not a troll rory but your pathetic attempts to try to be one are so endearing.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:12, closed)

You seem pretty confused about the whole thing, I'm just trying to be there for you
I don't mind you following me round getting all upset over anything I write, but the scoring gig of yours is pretty sad.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:24, closed)

Really rory give it a rest, you spew out the same of bullshit phrases because of your lack of originality.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:01, closed)

i think you have hit the nail on the head mr Turtle, well done.
( Trollman, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:03, closed)

I think I've figured out Mock Turtles backup account

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:18, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/morningaftersouvenirs/post1602012
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:28, closed)

Oh dear :(
2/10
(King Nightmare, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:41, closed)

My cousins now wife, then girlfriend
did her nurse training at the London Hosital in Whitechapel.

We had some EPIC weekends at the nurses quarters behind the hospital.

Having said that, seems quite a few nurses are a bit fucking nuts. Not sure if the profession draws drama queens, but it was a rare weekend that didn't see at least one spectacular meltdown.
(username failed moderation, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:09, closed)

I think a punch was reasonable punishment in this case to be honest.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:13, closed)

you spelled hospital wrong

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:27, closed)

What? Have you never been to London Hosital Quentin?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:36, closed)

i've been to a hosspickle and a hoskital
but not a hosital
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:48, closed)

You spelt
tosser wrong.

You've written 'Quinten'.
(username failed moderation, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:03, closed)

yeah well you spelled 'everyone in the whole world is fucking my mum' wrong

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:06, closed)

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 12:09, closed)

Yeah, well you've
obviously had more practice than me.
(username failed moderation, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:45, closed)