Thomas Crown affair has nothing on us.
A few years ago the new landlord of our local found an original oil painting in the cellar - It was a portrait of some stern looking chap who they christened The Headmaster, named thusly because in the pre-war era my local used to be some correctional facility for naughty boys and they figured maybe he was the guy who used to run the place. None of the staff liked this painting and as a result it was moved all around the pub for at least 12 months until it was ingraciously dumped against a wall behind one of the tables.

"I don't like the way they are disrespecting the Headmaster. I'm having that." Declared the wife somewhat drunkenly, pointing to the dumped painting one night.
So giggling like kids we hatched a plan. Waiting until the bar area was largely clear of unfamiliar customers I went to the far end of the bar to run my distraction.

"Come and look at this distraction!" I remember calling to the guy who was serving at the bar. Daft bastard fell for it and in the corner of my eye I saw the wife grabbing The Headmaster, giving the fingers on lips 'Shussh' signal to one of the other regulars and rapidly making her exit.
So we are now the proud owners of The Headmaster who is leaning against the wall in our spare room. He's facing the wall as he's a bit creepy looking.

We plan to return him one day, when there's someone running the place who will appreciate him more than the current management.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)