Proof of life after death
My pal's wife is a mad thing. Always wanting me to get up crazy sex things ( with his permission). So far she's had me shag in the middle of a huge storm on a field or go to a swinging club with her.
This time it was in a cemetery. She wanted sex in a graveyard. Meh it was sex: I was up for it.
Come the agreed night we meet in the pub opposite a well known city centre graveyard full of celebrity graves that is open late ( the dead centre of town - fnrr) She gets drunk which gets her frisky and we decide to go for it.
The first attempt is aborted (her hanging over a gravestone, me behind is a failure as another couple wander in nearby, perhaps for the same purpose who knows?) so we go further in the grounds until we find a big flat stone grave. I put her on her back and we go at it a second time.
After a few minutes I realise this is not the greatest experience I've ever had, my knees hurt on the stone and it's a tad cold but in for a penny in for 3 inches I think so I keep humping until I suddenly hear quite a lot of noise nearby. I look up and suddenly there are flashes of light everywhere and I realise a crowd of around 20 mostly Japanese tourists are photographing us as we jump up, part dress and get the hell out of there like, err, two bats out of hell.
It was an organised ghost walk we didn't know took place every weekend.
I like to think that to this day some guy in Nagasaki shows the pictures to some pals as proof of life after death. And that he is convinced the afterlife is banging great fun.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 7:37, 14 replies)

So -
apparently you fuck your mate's missus (supposedly with his permission - does he like to watch, can't get it up or what?).
She has to be drunk - never a good sign.
And finally despite your claims of being able to "do it" in all manner of places with all manner of people you can't keep it woody for a group of tourists?

For shame.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 15 Sep 2012, 9:00, closed)

I know. Such public shame.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 10:11, closed)

Did you meet her on OKCupid?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 10:25, closed)

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 11:47, closed)

what an incredible story, thank you for sharing.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 11:22, closed)

I hope you got there in your accord.
fucking hell QOTW, fucking hell.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 11:29, closed)

If that were true
I'd consider that to be one of the most disgusting marks of disrespect I've ever heard.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 11:36, closed)

You realize that if this were true which it obviously isn't because you're a fucking virgin,
you'd have just admitted to breaking at least three different laws, right?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 15:11, closed)

Just as well I'm a virgin with a good imagination then!
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 16:57, closed)

Which laws?

( WormuIus, Sat 15 Sep 2012, 17:59, closed)

Desecrating a gravesite, gross public indecency and lying on the internet.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 16 Sep 2012, 11:55, closed)

No lie but then I would say that wouldn't I?
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Sun 16 Sep 2012, 12:37, closed)

That night
As she got undressed in front of the mirror her husband said "Well all the time we have been married I did not know that about you!"
"Did not know what?" she replied
"Your arse died in 1864!"
(Mackeson_drinker, Sun 16 Sep 2012, 6:48, closed)

I'm trying very hard not to screech "LIES!!!"
whilst simultaneously clawing my own cock off.

Not sure I'm gonna make it, but it's not like I was using it, anyway.

LIES!!!
Oh, the blood loss...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:48, closed)