Would Have Been Mugged If...
I wasn't pissed.

I was walking home from a house party at about 3 in the morning, a good 7 mile walk and I was rather knackered and a lil drunky. I was a couple of corners away from my house when a delightful young bastard came out from the park next to the road I was walking on and asked 'ya got a fag, mate?'. As I had been continually smoking during the night, I truthfully replied 'no, sorry.' and walked along my merry little way.

That, in most scenarios, would be the end of the matter, and I would have felt a slight pang of guilt as I finished my journey.

But no.

'Oi! You got a fag?' shouted the eegit with a clear misunderstanding of the word 'no', to which I foolishly thought I could combat with a repeat.

Cue repeat around 20 times before I just ignored him and continued walking.

He continued, more and more aggressively, while at this point treading on my heels with every step. So I shouted 'NO!' without looking at him.

At this point he grabbed my shoulder before planting a shot in my chest and kicking my shin. Again, if this were any normal circumstance, I would have legged it and thought nothing more of it.

But in my 'invincible' state of drunken euphoria, I hit him.

Hard.

In the face.

He fell.

I THEN ran.

Apologies for the anti-climax of the story but it just goes to show that there really is only one way to show chavs that they are not good people in any way at all.

Further apologies for length, but it's my job as a male to make up excuses...
(I R Tomsk pyromaniacs will only inflame the situation, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 16:46, Reply)