Carp incident
When I was about fourteen I bought three shiney new koi carp from the garden centre at the end of my street. On the way home, holding my bag of livestock out in front of me, with a similar look on my face as Indiana Jones had just before he nicked the idol out of the tomb at the start of Raiders of the Lost Ark; I got held up by three inbreads who went to the tech college. They put the see-thru plastic bag the carp were in in a brown paper bag to calm the fish down. Apparently all fish are neurotic and need to be kept in the dark when stressed.

"what's in the bag?" said lead inbread, while his two brothers/cousins/half-brothers, penned me in.

Me: "fish."

Inbread: "what sort of fish?"

Me: "koi carp."

Inbread: "are they worth owt?"

Now this is where I went a bit wrong. Me: "yeah, they're dead expensive."

Ten minutes later after I had recovered my dignity enough from the smack I got, I started off home in tears. And I found my fish, still in the bag, perched on top of a dustbin just a few yards from home. It appears the inbreads had decided against a stint of black market fish-peddling.

Rambo, Jaws and Bambi (named by my sister)are still alive now over ten years later.

Moral of the story: If a mugger asks you if you have anything of value, lie. You know it makes sense.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 16 Jun 2006, 14:36, Reply)