Surely some mistake?
It was about 8am on New Year's Day 2000 and I was on way home from club, still heavily & obviously under the influence of several disco biscuits.

A rude boy of no more than 16 pops out of a side street, puts his arm round my shoulder & offers to sell me some weed. We retire to an alcove to do the deed & he starts up his pitch - "Shake my hand". I reach out a friendly paw and he seems suprised that there's no currency in it. I point out we hadn't yet dicussed his price list so he claims to be able to "swap" me £20 for "some" draw. Ask him to be more specific & request to see the goods. "Just gimme the £20 & I'll get it from my Lexus".

I was quite enjoying seeing this guy plead, beg & try everything he can think of to make me hand over £20 but I wasn't having it. He obviously realised he was losing me so grabbed my glasses & said he wouldn't give them back unless I gave him the money.

Now, although I speak poshly, wear glasses, am generally very peaceful (and was fully loved up), I still carry the memories of my schooldays with me. Whenever I broke my glasses, I'd be in deep sh*t with my mum so it was more of an instinct thing for me to slam his head against the brickwork & snarl "give me back my fackin' glasses" in my scariest voice.

It worked. Not only did he give my specs back, he started trying to stuff a £10 note in my top pocket. I presume it was so I would think he was genuine & hand over my cash. I thrust it back & told him to fuck off at which point he started begging me with tears in his eyes to take this tenner.

So it was at that point when a Japanese bloke walked round the corner to see one guy striding away from another who was crying & trying to force cash onto the first one.

Don't know if he thought that's how muggings normally happen in London. I didn't stick around

I would apologise for length but I'm not gonna
( four styx, Sun 18 Jun 2006, 15:00, Reply)