Bloody Romans!
My favourite failed mugging attempt was in Rome, when I was walking through some cloistered piazza or another, past street cafes and bistros, admiring the architecture and stuff. A group of about 8 little gyppo kids apparate in front of us and start holding out their hands for money. We weren't about to dip our hands in and show where our stashes were, so we politely ignored them and persevered.

Switching to plan B the little sh1ts then crowded round us and started padding down our pockets to work out where to dip, so I'm surrounded by grabbing kids who then get more bold and grab at my camera that I've tied to my bag (on the inside). At this I got all indignant and using my Lonely Planet Guide to Western Europe On A Shoestring as a bludgeon, firstly to coax them away, and then to knock them off. From nowhere I also developed an Imperial British Officer voice and started calling them curr, rapscallion and reprobate. I've no idea why, but it felt good.

Seeing it escalate the locals looking on in the cafe's are roused to assist and chase the little buggers away, cursing them more effectively in Italian.

So, they got nothing, but I still say, apart from being able to walk the streets in safety, what have the Romans ever done for us?!
(Jibber Jabba The Hutt, Wed 21 Jun 2006, 11:50, Reply)