Mum's style of sex ed
My mum is great, I owe her a great deal with my life so I'm not going to critisise her, except for the thorny issue of sex education.

I was about 12/13, and ill in bed with summer flu. I was sat up watching TV in the evening (most likely Red Dwarf or The Crystal Maze) when mum crept in and threw two books at me. And left without a word.

After digging myself out of the pages, I looked at the books. The first was one of those cringe-inducing 80s style NHS pamphlet entitled "How We Grow Up". The diagrams must have been drawn by some Susan Boyle W.I type that haven't actually seen a penis since their husband had his long johns blown off in World War 2. Pendulous breasts, rainforest vaginas, penises that bend beyond human reckoning, the works! The whole "business" end of the sex eduction bit took up 3 sentences, whilst the rest of the pamphlet was devoted to OMG STDs, unplanned pregnancy and Menstruation pain. Marvellous.

The other book was a called "Peter and Pamela Grow Up". A 1950s USA Pubic Information Film in print, complete with a black and white photo of two "gee, that'd be swell!" style kids in tie and blazer. The whole book manage to skirt the entire act of sex, except for a vague description of two dogs mating. The rest was mainly devoted to grease and spots and B.O and all the other wonderful aspects of adolescence.

These books, obviously acquired for this dreadful day of reckoning, were my mum's awkward attempt at home sex education. Afterwards, we never spoke about the books or their contents, or indeed any of the topics raised. Mum was keeping mum. I still remember the books, and the fact that I'd learned ALL about sex at school (and via a dodgy copy of Basic Instinct on VHS) probably four years before mum decided to "educate" me.

Cheers mum!
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 12 Feb 2010, 0:22, 3 replies)

"Pubic Information Film"
Haha
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 12 Feb 2010, 12:55, closed)

My mum died when I was nine so when my teenage years hit my dad got round the issue of 'the talk' by leaving a book in my room called Girls and Sex by Wardell B Pomeroy (honest). This book described in minute details what the female orgasm should feel like, best-education-ever! Of course being public spirited I took it in for the girls in school. I still have it, the cover has been sellotaped on several times.
(3badcats, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 16:39, closed)

oopsie!
actually, it's fitting so I'm not going to edit it
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 12 Feb 2010, 17:44, closed)