Classic mum lines
Most mums seem to come out with classic lines every once in a while - these are my two faves.

My friend Nicola's mum to her (Nicola's) boyfriend: "You're so mysterious, it's like you work for MFI!" (Note to non-UK B3tans: MI5, who she meant to say, are roughly our equivalent of the FBI but more secretive (edit: thanks Rear Admiral for the info). MFI on the other hand is a cheap furniture superstore.)

And my mum's all time classic. We were in a half empty car park with no barriers of any kind around it, surrounded by pavement at the same height as the parking bays. We wanted to be on the road just behind our bay so my dad decided that, rather than drive a long way round to the exit only to come back to 5 feet away from where we already were, he'd just reverse across the pavement onto the road, like backing out of a driveway. There was no need to go out of the exit as the car park was free, there was nothing in the way barrier or other car-wise and no pedestrians around so it seemed totally logical. My mum was horrified at the idea that we were 'cheating' by taking a short cut and yelled "Oh Brian, I'm so ashamed!". No-one would have paid any attention to our exit had we not had the windows rolled down because it was a hot day. The few people who were in the vicinity and had been happily ignoring us all instantly turned towards us to see what she was so ashamed about.
(purplelizzie, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 15:11, 2 replies)

ObPedant
MI5 are the Security Service - MI6 (Secret Intelligence Service) are roughly our equivalent of the CIA.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 15:57, closed)

Sorry your Rear Admiralness, I was just trying to give people a rough idea. I vaguely thought the CIA covered all types of foreign threats against the USA, wereas MI5 do counter terrorism and MI6 are everything else like economic threats'n'stuff? I'm no expert as you can probably tell. Or am I actually part of the secret/security service community and am just trying to make things more mysterious/confusing/dull. Who can tell? :O)
(purplelizzie, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 16:27, closed)

You didn't hear it from me but...
The Security Service covers counter-espionage, counter-terrorism etc. (threats against the UK), whereas SIS gathers intelligence about foreign powers (in other words MI6 spies on people, MI5 stops people spying on us, or blowing us up), as does the CIA.

In the US, the FBI covers counter-espionage and counter-terrorism among other things.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 16:44, closed)

Aah I see, it's all becoming clear now. MI6 are James Bonds and MI5 are counters (so a little like MFI then, presuming they sell counter tops for kitchens? Perhaps Nicola's mum was right all along). Mind you now that I know I'll have to kill myself in case I tell anyone else. Oh well, helps with the population problem I guess :O)
(purplelizzie, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 16:59, closed)

I've done counter-espionage
when buying a porn mag in a newsagents.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 15 Feb 2010, 18:14, closed)