Limited Editions
I collect children's books, but only limited editions. You may not know this, but writers often produce special versions of their books for a very short print run. I have a number of these, including:

The Famous Five are Crucified - Enid Blyton
Missus Tiggywinkle Has Her Arse Ravaged - Beatrix Potter
Charlie and the Chocolate Tunnel - Roald Dahl
The Secret Seven Shout 'Sieg Heil!" - Enid Blyton
The Cat in the Blender - Dr Seuss
Muthafuka on Crack - Roald Dahl
I'm Gonna Suck Yo Dick - Enid Blyton

I offer an excerpt from the latter:

Peter and Jane were sitting on the river bank and watching the ducks float by. It was such a jolly gay day and the sun was shining and everything was simply spiffing.

"Oh, look! I've got an enormous erection," said Peter.
"What's that," asked Jane, who had never seen a raging boner.
"It's here in my pants," he replied, unleashing the fleshly club from his shorts.
"Why, it's huge! May I touch it?" enquired Jane.
"Of course. Hold it like this and move your hand up and down ... uh-huh, yeaaah, that's good ... work it Jane .. work that cock, you fine ho!"
"You're speaking funny, Peter. Are you alright?"
"Oh, er .. yes. I was quoting Shakespeare - Othello. Put it in your mouth."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. It tastes good ... urg, yeah! ... Suckle that bulb, yeaaah ... don't stop ..."
"Peter? What happens if ... OH - MY EYES!"
"Jane - you're such an amateur."

The book was banned even before going to print, but I have Blyton's proof copy with her own ink sketches. Pretty hot stuff, I tell you.
(frankspencer, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 16:35, Reply)