When we were young...
one of my mates had acquired a VHS copy which contained some lesbian interaction which he got from an acquaintance at his school (who said he found it when he moved into his new house), anyway he was very keen to show it to me. Cue a saturday afternoon when his whole family were out and we sat in the living room and settled down to some lesbians getting jiggy in a field. Each time we heard the faintest sound outside we jumped up pressed pause and quickly changed the channel to some innocent bbc show not wanting to be caught in the act.

Now that the scene is set.

As we were sat there, eyes transfixed upon the delights before us I heard a crunch outside in the drive way. I jumped up to see if anyone was there but found no sign of life. Bearing in mind my mate and his family not being the most safety conscious of people always used to leave their door unlocked, if not wide open. So, thinking nothing of it we happily carry on watching these lesbians rolling round in a field, but I was convinced someone had come in after hearing various creaks on the stairs etc, but my friend just told me to chill and to stop being so paranoid. So, after an hour the tape finished and we retired up stairs satisfied with our findings on lesbianism. When we reached my mates room we discovered that all his cash and a newly bought video camera had disappeared. Shit! Whilst we were downstairs someone had snuck in and bloody stolen all this stuff. My friend not being too happy then called the police. When they finally arrived along with my mate's dad we had to give statements and answer various questions about what had happened.
"So sunny jim, where exactly were you when this all happened?"
Me and my mate looked at each other and all I could think about was those naked lesbians rolling round in that field of wheat.
"We were right here in the living room watching tv" I said.
"Well you must have been watching something very interesting to not notice someone else in the house"
"Yes officer" we both said in unison.

I must say, good job to the burglar for not getting distracted when he heard moaning sounds coming from the front room, that must have taken a lot of courage.
(potters, Sun 28 Jan 2007, 8:03, Reply)