TLDR: I saved a small girl from downing while on holiday
When I was 18, I was lucky enough to find myself on the Balearic Island of Gran Canaria.

I'd managed to get into a tight nightlife posse during my first week and our drill went like this: sunbathe off the hangover at the beach in the morning, swimming pool in the day and hit the bars and clubs at night. Rinse and repeat.

During the swimming pool sessions I'd muck around, dunk some girls, show off some dives, anything to catch the eye of a sun-baking-beauty...I was 18 remember ;)

I was also aware that this was a family pool, so there's no sordid takes here. In fact, I'd race against all the little kids in the pool and this quickly became their daily entertainment.

One little girl no older than six, a confident swimmer, would always be the first to take me on. Of course, I always let her win. This was her domain, she was in that pool when the sun came up and was still in when it went to bed, I would not spoil her fun.

Entering the night part of my routine, I met up with all my new-found pals and headed towards the hotel's bar, near the pool. The place was fairly deserted, many out for the night already, the rest in bed, but there was one familiar face: the little girl. She was still splashing away, while her parents went inside for another drink.

That's when it happened. I still see it as I saw it then. Hasslehoff Baywatch-style slo-mo vision. The little girl was visibly tired, scrambling desperately towards the edge of the pool under the weight of her own exhaustion. Her head bobbed above the water, then below, above the water, then below, above the water, then nothing. She was drowning and no-one had noticed.

Here I was in all my splendour: my slick gelled hair, my chino pants, my pulling shirt, beer in hand...all forgotten...as I dived into that pool and scooped her up from the bottom.

I put her on the side, no breaths coming from her tiny frame, so I gave her CPR, and she spluttered into life, just like TV.

I looked up, suddenly aware of a crowd. Her parents were there, my friends too. There was no applause, celebration, no fist-pumping, no high-fives. I had just saved a little girl's life.

I headeed into town soaking wet but the generous climate of the island dried me out.

The next morning I skipped the beach and started my hangover/tanning/sleeping duties next to the pool. I didn't get to complete any of those tasks though as I was visited by my new best friend: Sophie.

Not only was Sophie a great little swimmer but she was pretty acomplished climber too: hanging from my legs and on my back, like a little chimp, for the rest of the holiday.

It probably didn't help my chances with the sun-baked-beauties but I didn't mind one bit.

The most amazing thing was that very day - Sophie got back in the pool and kept her head above water - while she raced me for the 100th time. She beat me once again, of course ;)
(durtydriscoll, Fri 10 May 2013, 2:48, 21 replies)

How, exactly, is one meant to sunbathe of a hangover?
I have a few hangover cures including, but not limited to, having a little drink, swimming in the sea or walking up a mountain. I imagine laying around in the hot sun would only compound the issue.

Edit: I just read the rest of the story. Good work!
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 10 May 2013, 4:50, closed)

It involves a wet towel
Basically go the beach with a 2-litre bottle of water, drink it, have a quick dip in the sea and then go to sleep in the sun with a wet towel over your head.
(durtydriscoll, Fri 10 May 2013, 6:52, closed)

I think my housemate tried this tactic
when he got back from holiday he had the perfect shape of his hand silhouetted by tan where he'd left it draped across his chest

also, good work for saving a life
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:37, closed)

So your story is you spent your holiday harassing young kids & one of them tried to drown themselves to escape your terrible noncing?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 6:57, closed)

Blimey
from you, chief, this is almost praise.

Almost.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:42, closed)

gran canaria isn't a balearic island.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 10 May 2013, 7:39, closed)

whoops
Can't believe I got that wrong -Gran Canaria - if only there was a clue in the name ;)
(durtydriscoll, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:32, closed)

Geography not a strong point of yours?

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Fri 10 May 2013, 8:40, closed)

not greatly skilled in that area
I have to use Google maps to get to the local shops
(durtydriscoll, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:36, closed)

Ignore the fuckwits - this is ace, and should win.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:23, closed)

That's all well and good and worthy
but you weren't around to save her when her parents left her alone while they went out for tapas, were you? eh? EH?

Saving people's lives. You sicken me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:45, closed)

Similar sort of a thing happened to me - I used to be a lifeguard, evenings and weekends. There was a young lass clinging onto the end of the inflatable runway thing, which is strictly verboten - so I responded with a mighty blast of my orange plastic whistle and a stern injunction to let go. Turns out she wasn't so much "arsing around" as "drowning", though - as a more experienced lifeguard rather grumpily informed me, having jumped in and hoisted her out himself.

So, I blew my shot at heroism. And just to rub salt into the wound, the lifeguard who actually did save her only had one leg.

Anyhow - well done you!
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:56, closed)

Genuine officeLOL at the end there

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:08, closed)

^

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:17, closed)

Apparently
It's not that easy to spot when somone is genuinely drowning
thatscurious.tumblr.com/post/2628816400/instinctive-drowning-response-why-you-cant-shout-or
(unclestinky, Fri 10 May 2013, 21:55, closed)

When you said she was a great little swimmer
um . . .?
(username failed moderation, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:44, closed)

'Fast learner'

(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 10 May 2013, 11:52, closed)

Hang on
The bloke who played Len Fairclough's dead, so I guess you must be Rolf Harris, right? That advert you did used to make me feel ill - I think it was the sight of the sole of your foot.
(Rsoles, Fri 10 May 2013, 12:05, closed)

to be fair he did warn parents
"If they go off to play by themselves, then you know what's going to happen," says Rolf with a beard smile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2VvcOHi2E8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
(durtydriscoll, Fri 10 May 2013, 23:44, closed)

I hope
he didn't say that when he was interviewed by the Operation Yewtree plod.
(Rsoles, Sat 11 May 2013, 17:36, closed)

well done
you terrible nonce ;)

only kiddling this to win ....proper job :D
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:05, closed)