Honeslty, 16 year olds can act like twats.
Every week we had a senior assembly. It was done completely without adult intervention to prove that we can be responsible and organised and work in harmony with one another. HA. Each form would have to present a 'piece' on a situation in the news or a current event or some other bollocks that was happening. We had ours at Christmas, yaaay! So quite unoriginally, we decided on the Nativity. Our collective opinion was that if 5 year olds can pull it off then so could we. How wrong we were. We were given around 3 hours to prepare, however, the majority of our precious time was spent twatting about so with about half an hour to go we had only managed to decide the characters and scramble around the infant end of school for props and the such like. We quickly printed off a brief transcript of the Nativity from wikipedia or some other sceptical source and after a quick rehearsal, unfortunately without adult supervision, we were all set :)

I should probably point out that I went to a hardcore Catholic Private school with 99% of the teachers being very religious (one of them was a neo-Catholic whatever that is) so as you can imagine our haphazard production was not about to go down too well….

Well it went a bit down hill from the start when I, Mary to you, making my big entrance, tripped over the piano cover and smacked my head on the stage (Its ok I don’t think anyone noticed). The boy who was playing Joseph had been off ill for a week and missed the rehearsal so he had no idea what the fuck was going on. The three angels had bound their heads, arms and legs together with tinsel and had kitchen roll for wings, they had not trained to maneuver gracefully as one unanimous being so they spent the majority of the time on their arse and we persuaded a boy with ADDH that he really would be quite a good narrator.

Anyway, after riding the length of the audience on a donkey, or Jack as he was called, I arrived at the Inn (cardboard box). We drew the line at a birth reconstruction so I went to place the doll in the manger and I threw it a little bit and missed, which surprisingly was the part that offended most people. I was then greeted by some shepherds... You know them scarves that were all in fashion with the young’uns? The really big checkered ‘terrorist-esq’ ones? Well, basically the Shepherds were wearing those, attempting to look like terrorist sheep herders, brandishing sticks (Id have taken offence to that). The Three Wise Men were rubbish because, ironically, they were the clever, boring people who wanted to take it seriously and quite frankly nearly destroyed the entire production. In the end it didn’t really end, it just stopped because the narrator had read everything, or ran away or whatever and we just stared at everyone until they clapped and left. The whole situation was mighty uncomfortable.

About an hour later we all got a right good seeing to by pretty much every teacher in the vicinity and anything religious was banned from being in the assembly, and the entire thing was scrapped around February the next year, so in my opinion it was an all round success.
(i should have joined myspace, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 20:17, Reply)