Pissy Welsh Prima Donna Short-Arse
I never got on too well with acting at school. That is to say, I maintain to this day that I had a certain unique star quality, and those prissy, stuck-up drama teachers just weren't ready for my style. I was too out there, you know? And I think it frightened them.

Anyhoo, the upshot of this is that I didn't end up doing any acting. Despite numerous auditions, the best jobs I ever got were on the technical side.

Not like this short-arse Welsh kid. Oh no, they loved him. He obviously had a severe case of the short-man complex, and was severely overcompensating. For example, during the work we did on one play, he insisted that the costumes, which everybody else was happy with, were not good enough for him, and had his own one made up specially for him by some black dude with a really nice voice and his own underground workshop. (And it looked fucking ridiculous)

What was also grating as the fake American accent. Alright, boyo, we know the Welsh accent isn't a particularly convincing one to use in amateur dramatics, but couldn't you at least have pretended to be English?

Anyway, the main incident that sticks in my mind is the time I was doing the lighting. During rehearsals, I apparently committed the cardinal sin of moving - yes, moving, all I did was walk across the back of the hall and it turns out this is enough to put him off his stroke! He flies off the handle and starts yelling at me,
"How dare you? You don't fucking walk round the set while I'm trying to fucking act..." and so on and so forth.

The drama types call it his "artistic temperament." I call him a twat.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 9:19, 2 replies)

Ha!
:D
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 9:26, closed)

Click

(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 10:59, closed)