I used to get dragged kicking and screaming....
... to Church (of Scotland) every Sunday morning, the Boys Brigade every Friday night and (horror of horrors) Choir practice every wednesday. Grandma Badbob was an elder of the church yesee(a semi-senior position in the CofS, kinda like a helper elf) and was very insistent that I be brought up a good and proper protestant, even though my mum had resisted the pressure to have me christened.

Anyway, i digress. As part of the duties in the Choir (where up until the age of 13 I was considered a bloody good singer and decent actor, even being invited to sing with the seniors) we were required to put on a show of sorts every Christmas, and in this particular year we were instructed to perform an abridged version of Joseph and his Technicolor(tm) Dreamcoat.

I got landed with the lead role, and for those unfamiliar with the show, there is a song which lists all of Josephs siblings, and believe me, there are a few (his mum and dad were like rabbits).

For weeks leading up to it, I struggled to remember the names, my 13 year old mind struggling to deal with having just learned self-pleasure, the joy of girls boobies and the fact that singing was becoming increasingly difficult.

So, the big day arrives.... Sunday before Chrimbo, the show takes to the stage (well, the open space between the congregation and the minister). I belt through the songs, struggling with the high notes and then the song of many names arrives.

My mind is a blank!

I completely make it up.....

Names sung included the biblical names of Pete, Dave, Timothy, Ahmed.....

I thought it was funny... the minister was wetting herself, the congregation applauded, my Gran was apoplectic! Her face was livid.

When i suggested in the new year that I should leave the choir as my voice had given way, there was no argument. This was followed by an orderly retreat from all Church events and groups over the next 2 years.

When I was 16, I told the family that yours truly was an Atheist (and also considering Communism) over dinner. There was little comment.

I thank Joseph and his many brethren for getting me out of organised religion.
(badbob82 actually has mates called Rex and Wendy, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 14:08, 3 replies)

Ahmed! arf!
( Ratsta, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 14:47, closed)

I can't read CofS without thinking of Tom Cruise.
.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 22:11, closed)

Would have been more interesting if it had been the space nuts!
Lol.
(badbob82 actually has mates called Rex and Wendy, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 18:47, closed)