No-one at my school was that coarse or incontinent
But I've replied to posts saying bad things about this week's topic, so I feel I should contribute here to ease my conscience and not be seen as a whiner...

...Okay. I was five, like so many at that time. I thought I was king of the world. I understood that atoms were so small you can't even see them, that nothing was bigger than infinity (except infinity plus one, at a push), and I knew that claiming I was a hundred years old wasn't impressing anyone.

So I was cast, at the very beginning of my long and distinguished career in school performance, as a shepherd. Upon seeing that I got a tea towel on my head, and that the angels got a bit of wire with tinsel as a halo, I did only what was reasonable. I wept like a burst pipe, insisting that I be an angel too. I wanted that halo, and everyone knew that shepherds are shit.

So after crying inconsolably until it was a Christmas miracle in itself that my little head contained any more water, I became an angel, only for the halo to itch, and for me to turn on the waterworks again, begging to have that comfy tea towel back.

Of course, now I look back I know that what I was really begging for was a clip round the ear, I just didn't realise it at the time.

Yeah, yeah, it's not funny. I tried.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 2:03, 2 replies)

You are
(or were) an annoying little shit of the highest order. Now piss off or you'll be wearing my foot up your arse!
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 4:38, closed)

Ah, you see
If only my teacher had thought of saying that.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 18:57, closed)