I noticed you were missing...

And it made me think about just how fickle us 'Qotw'ers are. You used to be prolific, and are a legend in my eyes (the one I was always 'out to impress' when I started out). then simply by slowing your posting rate down a bit...and it's suddenly like everybody forgets you ever existed.

and that.sucks.ass.

I didn't forget you. I was actually in the middle of writing a 'final act' post, where you appeared...dressed as the 'true messiah' (Super Shearer wearing a manager's sheepskin coat)...and had to grumpily and begrudgingly take over narration duties, explaining it was because CHCB had nipped off for a cheeky foursome with the three wise men...and Spanky's massive black dildo...

But I won't bother now.

I was holding it back (fnarr) for fear of falling down the slippery slope of offending people by ommitting them. Nobody cares if yuo call them a cunt round here, but people really mind when you don't mention them at all.

...


As for the truth / creative writing thing. I've never made any secret about how I post. I have always maintained that my posts are either:

1. Firmly based in truth - but embellished (obviously - my turds are not really the size of a slimy brown oil tanker.)

2. A total pile of 'out-there' bollocks that has been brought about by lack of genuine inspiration / real-life relevance...or just a shite QotW (i.e the last couple of weeks)

3. A godawful pun / shit joke - and I apologise for each and every one.

I would like to think that people can tell the difference with what I write. But as people say, you can spot my efforts a mile off (mostly because they're a mile long) so it's easy to avoid if so desired.

In line with what Mordred says - I have found my 'truth' stories are better received than the bullshit by a ratio of about 4:1...and that makes me feel better about the readership.

But please...for the time being at least, cut the likes of Spanky and I some slack - we haven't had too much to work with lately.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 8:48, 2 replies)

I also noticed you were missing
and would like to add that I'm fairly darn sure that it was one of *your* posts that made me sign up to b3ta.

My stories are either just that, stories, or real truth. The Shameful Penis one for example. I found it incredibly hard to write. There was a lot of emotion pent up, even though it was just a few short lines. I know it confused the fuck out of people on /talk but I didn't care. It needed to be said and QOTW just happened to provide an opportunity to say it.

I think you'd be surprised how many people are missing your stories Legless, cos I know I look forward to reading them. You're honest and have a way with words that not many people have.

I read pooflake and spanky's stories mainly for amusement, because generally they're funny and gross in ways I don't see much elsewhere.

Hang in there. You are loved. Don't fret.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:07, closed)

Dear Pooflake
Don't take it personally. You and Spanky are trying your best with poor material to work from - this much I know.

But for me it's an "embarrassment of riches" scenario. Back In The Day, if you look at past front page material, it was a good ratio of truth to fable. That ratio has now tipped. I think that's a Bad Thing, as real life - as QOTW in the past has proved - can be better than fiction.

The "emotional response" to a real life story is going to be more complex than it is to something that's made-up, which (for me) provides a one-dimensional emotional response.

It's the difference between listening to a story which takes you through a range of responses, to hearing a gag which is redeemed only by its punchline. And don't get me wrong, the punchlines you and Spanky deliver, are great ones.

But it's still only one emotional response, rather than many. Which makes QOTW less of a "must read" and more of a "skim through". Which is a shame.

Maybe (please God) a run of better questions will bring back the status quo. Here's hoping.

But don't take what I've read as a criticism of what you (or Spanky) are writing for our entertainment.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:11, closed)

I completely understand...

The top three stories on my profile are 'truthies' - but as you rightly pointed out, I'm here to relieve my own personal work boredom in the hope of entertaining you lovely folk.

I see writing styles evolving all the time around me...to paraphrase what BGB said above: In an arena where it has become increasingly difficult to shock, 'real-life' experiences seem tame in comparison...and the bar is raising all the time.

and I feel this is where our problem lies. I enjoy going overboard with descriptions, observations and comparatives to embellish what could potentially be only a midly funny story otherwise.

Unfortunately however, as mentioned, this site exercises free will, and you can't argue with the demographic. The masses are choosing whatever the hell they like by way of clicks and replies, and there's cock-diddly all we can do about it.

I love the 'thought provoking' efforts & the 'triumph over adversity' posts (Tourettes brilliant one of a few months back leaps to mind)...

But I've got enough problems 'back in the world' - what I enjoy most of all is a fucking good laugh.

It takes all sorts to make a b3ta.

*starts singing 'we are the world'*

And as a personal note, I am loving the ultra talented newbies that have appeared lately - maintaining a consistent high standard and keeping us 'old hands' on our toes, forcing me to up my game and keeping me laughing inbetween my own efforts.

Keep 'em coming!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:36, closed)