How do you scare a plane load of people?
Tell them the fuckin' engine has just blown up!
For my ninth birthday(bout 8 yrs ago if my maths is right), my mother took us all out to see my father, who was away on a business trip on some exotic island (ok, not so much a business trip, but he's in the RAF, and spent the best part of 6 months drinking shitloads of beer and snorkelling with sharks).
Excellent 2 weeks, spend loads of time with daddy, get a tan, but the shitty part of having to leave him returns.
So we are on the plane, im sobbing my heart out, face pressed against the window hoping to see him- even when the plane was taking off: cue near death experience
At the ironically named "point of no return", the engine im sitting directly behind (i always get window seats near the wing) decides to explode into a mass of flames and sparks- while im still looking out the window!
I turn to my mum, and say a bit more loudly than intended "Fucking hell! SHIT,MUM THE PLANE'S ON FIRE" ; cue lots of havoc, trolly dollys running around crying and what does mum do? Pulls the shutter down and says "go to sleep, it will be over soon".

I don't think she was trying to be ironic

*found out a month later that some rare bird got stuck in the engine, we had too much fuel on the plane, and we had 3 options after take off: turn left or right and fly into volcanic mountains, go into the sea and get eaten by great whites (in breeding season :)) or fly up

Maybe i'm invincible :-)
(cookie_freak, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 16:55, Reply)