Human Candle
A few years ago, I was suffering with very heavy clinical depression, and took some nice sweeties that the doc gave me. I spent a good few weeks wondering wether I should just kill myself and save some long term misery, but stuff got rosier, and I decided to get on with enjoying life.

A friend of mine sorted me out with a blind date, but it was back home in beautiful cheshire. So, on a friday afternoon, I got on my obscenely fast motorbike, which due to the necessities of medication, I hadnt used for about a month.

Eager to be on time for my date, I went down the motorway at naughty speeds. 20 minutes away from my intended destination, hurtling through rush hour traffic at about a ton, I noticed a trucker looking at me in sheer horror. It was then I looked behind me, to notice I had a ten metre comet tail of fire shoting out the back of the bike.

On further inspection, it appeared the whole bike was on fire, and the only thing stopping me getting roasted was my excessive speed.

I found it ironic that after weeks of thionking about how to top myself, my bike was going to do it for me.

Anyway, by a mixture of bravery and sheer dumb luck, I managed to get the bike on to the hard shoulder, and jump of it at a sensible speed. As it groundto a halt on the shoulder, it went pop three times, and turned into a ginormous fireball. I caused huge tailbacks, got on radio 1 travel time, and even into some of the papers....

linky

When I phoned my date to tell her the reason I would be late, she thought I was bullshitting, and told me where to stick, my date.

How rude.
( Dr Nick Riviera, Fri 26 Nov 2004, 14:07, Reply)