A few marginally interesting ones.
I was fiddling with the AT connection on the case of my old pentium 120, when I noticed the insulation over the connection to the power switch had slipped off. realising that this had the potential, if a stray wire managed to contact it, to fry my computer and wreck the adolescence induced pornographic content on my hard drive, I opted to slip the sleeving back over. Now, sensibly and somewhat fortunately I removed the power lead from the power supply before hand, foolishly I neglected to think that the power supplies of days of old contain fucking huge capacitors with a huge fucking charge stored up ready to give the computer the kick start it needs to power up. rather than turn the switch on and off to let the power drain for that brief second, I go in, bare fingered and grab the sleeving. unfortunately the other sleeve had slipped a tad so therefore I managed to complete the circuit and recieve a cunting huge whack of voltage straight up the arm. Suffice to say it knocked me out cold and left me rather unstable for a few hours. Just as foolishly, I fell backwards and managed to hit my head against my melamine covered chipboard bed, cutting it open. The computer was fine.

The story doesn't end there folks, I wish it did. Having recieved an electric shock of annoyingly painful proportions I opted to go downstairs and take a piss. (Anyone who has recieved a good sharp dose of voltage will know this is a must!) My right arm was still quite weak, and would not support the weight of little old me. therefore, after putting my hand on the banister for support, I realised the arm in it's weakened state was as likely to offer support as drew barrymore is to offer me a blowjob. Unfortunately the obviousness of that particular fact only became apparent when I was already hurtling down the speed at somewhat of an alarming rate. Fortunately I suffered little more than carpet burn from that particular episode, even though I was due to empty a little more than my bladder afterwards.

Life can be a bitch at times.

Additional incident:

A few years back I'd been on somewhat of a bender for no particular reason. On the journey to a taxi rank I passed Nottinghams theatre royal. Anyone who knows the theatre will know that round the back is a ramp to allow access to the concert hall part for people without functioning legs, foolishly in my rather drunk state I forgot the ramp sloped upwards, and decided to gently hope over the wall. Unfortunately the drop to the pavement and wall surrounding a flower bed had escaped my alcohol damanged mind and I fell about 13 feet without any control to the pavement. Fortunately I managed to put my hands out to prevent a potentially fatal head/pavement meeting, and the car I rolled out into the road in front of managed to brake in time. I still managed to break a security barrier and take a piss off of the top storey of the car park later that evening though.
( Muns, Sat 27 Nov 2004, 0:03, Reply)