English Cunt
Not all English are cunts, but this cunt was. A shitty set up meant that he had to have access through my back garden to take his wheely bin out, which he done, once a week and left my back gate open, every. fucking. time. This allowed the local shit cannons to wander in and squirt arse chutney upon my patio.

He would also run rough shod over any of my kids toys that happen to be out the back. The plastic axe wasn't so much a problem, but the Evil Knievel i had imported from America for my sons xmas WAS a problem.

Then, then there was the cat episode....after many months of finding tea bags, smashed eggs, fag ends etc on the patio i was confused and annoyed. I was closing th eblinds of an upstairs bedroom when i saw the stupid cunt out his back smoking a tab, i went to the toilet came back and he was gone, but there was a lit fag end on my my patio. CUNT.

I marched down and picked up the offending cancer stump and went to his back door. it is about now i should tell you that he was considerably bigger than me, but he was a cunt, so i didn't care. His wife answered and said that the cunt was in a bath...Quick turnaround. Anyway, i went back and sat on my back doorstep, ready for some sort of confrontation. Minutes later he steams out of his back door, shouting in his stupid fucking english accent about my cat...What are you talking about you fucking cock-watcher??

To cut a long story short, he had been flicking these fag ends into my garden because he believed my cat was shitting in his garden...not any of the other few dozen cats that patrolled the place...So i asked him, as calmly as possible if he thought that in doing so it would stop what the cat, or any cat for that matter from shitting in his gardem. His answer was to shout louder...i told him that arguments could not be won by simply shouting louder than the other person. By the look on his blank face, he simply didn't understand this concept. He retreats back into his house, but leaves the back door open, at this point my wife enters our kitchen and i tell her that the idiot next door will have to go round every person who owns a cat and flick fag ends into their garden.

At this point he BOLTS back out from his house and says i should stop talking to myself, then he sees my wife standing behind me. He looked like the stupid cunt he was and after a few more mumbles, walks back into his house and shuts the door behind him. I claimed the moral victory and no more fag doubts appeared.

Man, i hated the cunt with ALL my being, his whiney accent, complete lack of brains and..........fuck, just everything about the cunt boiled my piss. I hope he is fucking dead.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 12:31, 7 replies)

Hmmm...
I've given this some serious thought. And re-read your story. And had another think about it.......


.......am I right in thinking you didn't like this fella much?

And 'click'.
(Tighthead, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 12:40, closed)

...
....aaaaand breathe.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 13:18, closed)

Should've just delivered a swift knee to the happysacks
Big men go down with a crash.

Out of interest do you know which part of England he was from??? I've got a theory certain parts of England are full of utter cunts and just wondering if he's from one of these areas?
( SpankyHanky, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:08, closed)

very possibly Essex
or maybe Cuntshire, although i couldn't be sure..

oh, and he called his kid Stefan, and shouted his bedroom window, to the 2 year old, that "daddy won't love you anymore if you don't go down the slide" referring to the new slide i had just purchased from the argos....which really sums it all up!

C
U
N
T
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:38, closed)

Hmmmm
Essex... Know some nice people from there and some utter cunts... My theory doesn't appear to be very sound.

But if he's named his son Stefan that makes him a bona fide 100% cunt in my book. The only people who are allowed to be named Stefan are forrin footballers, tennis players, and most of the population of Sweden. Anyone else with this name, or anyone who bestows this name onto some poor unfortunate is quite obviously a cunt.

And that goes for Tarquins and Saffrons too.

And anyone who looks like they're a cunt regardless of their name.

Cunts...

(Think I might go and live on a mountain somewhere. ..... ..... alone.... .....)
( SpankyHanky, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 14:47, closed)

Ha ha!
I know a Stefan - he's a decent bloke, but his dad's a cunt.

QED, methinks.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:27, closed)

Ah, Essex
What God dug the Thames Estuary for.

(In this Kentish Man's humble opinion).
(Neil_E_There didn't the Aussies used to be good at cricket?, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:31, closed)