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This is a question Neighbours

I used to live next door to a pair of elderly naturists, only finding out about their hobby when they bade me a cheerful, saggy 'Hello' while I was 25 feet up a ladder repairing the chimney. Luckily, a bush broke my fall, but the memory of a fat, naked man in an ill-fitting wig will live with me forever.

(, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41)
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Goblins! Midgets! Spackers! Tescos!
My neighbour (well, a nearby resident) is a lady in her late 30s/early 40s. She's a very nice lady, but has a challenging life. This is principally owing to her Downs Syndrome son, who I shall, for the purpose of anonymity refer to as Mungo.

Mungo is about 17, powerfully built, and mad as a box of frogs. His greatest adventure began some weeks ago, and is still ongoing as a result of pending legal action.

It began with his mother leaving him unsupervised for a short while; the cupboards were running towards empty and so a trip to Tesco was undertaken. Naturally such expeditions carry with them a great deal of hassle if Mungo attends and so as it was a quick in-and-out shop she left him at home, in front of the telly, with a bit of chocolate.

40 minutes or so she came back and found Mungo covered in scratches with a bruise welling up on the side of his face. Naturally, as a caring and protective mother, she was very concerned and enquired as to how he obtained these marks. His answer was:

“I've been out catching Goblins!”

His mother was surprised by this, and pushed him for a more believable answer. This time, his response was, if anything, even less credible.

“I've been out catching goblins and I have one locked in the upstairs bathroom!”

At this point his mother heard muffled banging coming from the upstairs of the house. Concerned, she sprinted upstairs and braced herself to confront the “goblin”, whatever the hell it was.

Tension coursed through her as she eased open the door, to find herself staring at a very angry midget woman. Standing all of three foot six, what she lacked in height she seemingly made up for in fury. She ran from the house, unmollified by the frantic apologies of the mother, and quickly called the police.

It later transpired that Mungo had seen her walking past the house, decided she was a goblin and should therefore be imprisoned, ran out and got her into a headlock, endured an almighty battle, prevailed and dragged the unwilling midget into the bathroom, locking her in.

The midget was naturally terrified, and is trying to sue as well as reporting him to the police.

Mungo's mother is now a trembling wreck who will not leave him unattended. Mungo still seems to have a bit of a thing about short people.
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:47, 20 replies)
surely that's just
another version of this www.snopes.com/horrors/drugs/closet.asp
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, closed)
Reminded me of this as well
I wonder if having downs' is just like being on acid?
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 13:55, closed)
QOTW has sorely missed your deft touch Disasterprone.

Good to have you back!
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:13, closed)
My girlfriend told me this exact story the other day but she's not from Norwich.
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:36, closed)
reminded me of this:
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 15:40, closed)
The wife has just said this as well, and we both agree that one was better.
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 19:27, closed)
My bullshit detector is off the charts...
I think this one was written on the cave wall along with the legend of the computer with a cup holder...
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 15:00, closed)
Extra credit for judicious use of the word Spackers.

Haven't laughed so much in ages. Thanks.
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 15:59, closed)
Why does the bathroom lock from the outside?
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 19:25, closed)
I wondered this too...
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 19:39, closed)
well, frankly, no.
Lies and bunkum of the highest order, this has been told a hundred times with slight varitions, its gillards and I call shenanigans.
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 21:51, closed)
I was curious about the bathroom lock....
However, t still makes me piss myself laughing. Which is good.
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 5:58, closed)
is the mother called mary?
mary, mungo and midget...
(, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 22:21, closed)
I couldn't care less
if it's made up or not. Bloody wonderful. Laughed for ages. Wonderful wording. And getting a midget in a headlock presents a great mental image followed by the ball of fury bit.

(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 7:46, closed)
often wonder what the origin of this urban myth is
Must have some element of truth to it back in the midsts of time...
(, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 10:30, closed)
do you mean mists?

(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 13:57, closed)
What a week this has been!...

It has seen the return of Frankspencer and Disasterprone - two of my favourite B3ta heroes.

Top story. Don't let this be a one-off.

Have this here click as an incentive
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 10:58, closed)
Now this is awfully funnae !!! Clicked and wanked, clicked and wanked. Cheers.
(, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 15:16, closed)
In nearly 5 years
I hadn't realised journalistic standards had to be applied...
(, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 8:38, closed)

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