nothing much to report about my own neighbours
we moved house about five times when i was younger so there have been a few. my current neighbours is an on-off pal.

the first was a cat thieving witch. not content with 14 of her own, she lured our little tabby kitten away with titbits. i suppose a quiet abode with other furry companions is better than three rowdy toddler girls but we never saw him again. i never went in but apparently her house reeked of piss and catpoo.

this kitten also pooed on our other neighbour because he squeezed too hard. excellent.

last set of neighbours moved out. good riddance! apparently, the mother couldnt work because she had her hands full home schooling her eleven-year-old son with learning difficulties. this child was never inside but always in the back garden. and couldnt read. luckily he had maths to fall back on, proven by his constantly trying to con my then seven-year-old brother into handing over his pocket money. the highlight was when i was woken at about ten in the morning by a 'THWACK, THWACK' noise, lent out of my window and saw the boy with a massive axe, laying into a tree in the garden. when i leant out and asked him what he was doing? a chore.

the mother then had a baby girl and couldnt 'homeschool' this boy anymore so he was packed off to school. miraculously, the 'learning difficulties' disappeared in the space of about a couple of months and he could read.
(ladyintheradiator, Tue 6 Oct 2009, 20:13, 2 replies)

cat squeezer
sorry, your neighbour squeezed your kitten which then proceeded to shit on him ? Why let people squeeze your cat ?
(AndySpanners not working too hard on, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 14:35, closed)

Squeezing the kitten?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 15:04, closed)