Berkshire Hunt
I used to work for a large British institution, until one day they decided to sell of the arm that I worked for to a bunch of chancers.

One of the chancers bought in one of his mates to be our 'manager'.

On his first day, he introduced himself to all the project managers in a room on a one-to-one basis. Then he sent for me - a lowly programmer.
Little did I know, it wasn't to introduce himself, but to give me a bollocking for having 12 days off sick (genuine illness) 3 years prior to him joining the firm.

I sat there shocked. I asked him if he'd reviewed my record for the year prior to that as well. He had. No days off at all, not even holiday in that year as I was apparently 'too busy'. The year after, a similar story - clearly I was no serial sickie taker. I suppose we didn't really get off on the right foot, and my informing him there and then that "if that's the way it's going to be, then work-to-rule it is..." probably didn't help much. Well, he could hardly expect me to start rebuilding servers at 5pm after that, could he?

However, it seems his dislike of me (at first glance it would seem, seeing as I hadn't spoken a word to him prior to that meeting) wen way beyond anything professional. There was the time that he'd quite simply 'slag me off' for my 'fanciful ideas' with my 'head in the cloud' to pretty much anyone that would listen. My fanciful ideas in this instance was to convert our systems to run over the web (this was 1998-99, so not exactly science fiction) to save us money on renting time on a very expensive network and to email documents to our US office rather than box up reams of green-lined paper and send it over by boat. Seriously. He's simply throw any idea from my head away before I'd even finished speaking it.
At one time, I sat next to him for a week in our London office. The following week, back at our main office, I was told that I hadn't put the hours in and I would have to catch up. I obviously quieried this, and was told that because I was in the London office and there was no clocking-in system that he had no proof that I was at work. He claimed he couldn't remember sitting next to me. Twat. He lost the little credibility he still had for the entire firm after that.
I rose above it and did the hours. Well...I did the hours by changing my entries in the M$ Access database that held the records from the clocking in system and making it look like I did the hours. No fucking way was I doing a single minute more than I had to at that place - a place where I used to work every hour under the sun to get the job done prior to this cock joining.

I left in the end. I hear he and his chancer mate were both escorted from the building by security some months later.

I'd like to say I had a hand in his (really quite crap) attempted fraud, but sadly the fear of getting caught prevents me from doing so ;-)
(dchurch bah, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 19:45, 3 replies)

why didnt you just
man the fuck up, and knock him out?
not big, or clever, but very,very satisfying
(shinypurplebit booked his tickets (yay) on, Sat 1 May 2010, 8:53, closed)

I did
a fair bit more than that, and it was equally as satisfying, perhaps more so knowing that his career is going to be stunted. A punch in the gob would only have lasted so long, this way he's fucked for far longer.
(dchurch bah, Sat 1 May 2010, 13:57, closed)

Good
Fuck im
(shinypurplebit booked his tickets (yay) on, Sat 1 May 2010, 17:51, closed)