How arch-nemises are created...
Dear Neighbour,

I realise that Mr Anodyne and I can occasionally listen to music a bit later than you'd like us to, and I'm sorry for that, and we've (almost) put a stop to it. Hell, we haven't had a party in 6 months because we're worried about upsetting you after you complained to us. We even let you get away with telling us to 'get fucked' last summer when we asked you not to burn plastic in your garden (especially when we had the windows open).

However, you have been drilling and hammering at something every day for a VERY LONG TIME now, and it's starting to get on my tits. I'm not sure what on earth could even require that much work, but if I don't see a life-size Optimus Prime or something equally huge and worthwile erected in your garden pretty fucking soon, we might have to go back to partying every weekend. This might seem like petty vengeance, but you are quite literally driving us insane.

Yours with ear-muffs,

Belladonna x
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 3 May 2010, 12:19, 4 replies)

As someone with neighbours who play loud music in the early hours of the morning
I like your neighbour's style. Good on him.
(Vlad the Inhaler forgot his password, Mon 3 May 2010, 13:14, closed)

My friends used to have parties most weekends
much to their neighbour's annoyance. However, the man-neighbour spitting at my friend's fiance, coming home from the pub drunk and trying to fight my friend's house by punching the door several times and generally acting like a total twat did little to make me sympathise. They also seemed to be constantly hammering and sawing for months as well, which drove my friends mad during the day.

I was sitting in my friend's house one night when the police came to the door and said they'd received a complaint about the noise. They came in, had a look around, said they'd been sat outside for a while listening, spoke to my friend and got the complete story of the ongoing feud then promptly went next door and told them if they wasted police time again there would be consequences, as we plainly were not making any noise.

Looking back, I can sympathise with my mate's neighbour, but my friend tried to compromise with him several times and was met with abuse so just ended up being a nightmare on purpose. The whole situation was a bit horrible, really :(
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 3 May 2010, 15:08, closed)

.
The thing is, we never listened to music loudly, or past 11 at night. If we ever had a party (read as '5 or 6 mates back after the pub'), we didn't put music on, because we thought it might get too loud. Since the she-witch with apparently bat-like hearing next door complained, we've stopped inviting people back or listening to music after 10 p.m. We were happy to do this in the interests of avoiding a neighbour-feud, but she fucking drills and hammers for at least 5 hours a day, every day.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 3 May 2010, 15:49, closed)

I want to see this life-size Optimus Prime, that would be awesome
AFAIK, there's only one at the moment and it's in China. This planet needs more of them.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 4 May 2010, 9:50, closed)