Like the IT crowd but grubbier
.
Way back before the dot.com boom, I worked for a small IT company, which had 15 staff. Fourteen nerds and me.

They did their IT, nerdy stuff, I did the admin - all that boring (but necessary) stuff like payroll, ordering paper for the printers, hiring cleaners for the office etc.

For the first eight weeks, no-one spoke to me. I eventually got tired of this (cos I like a wee chat) and asked the boss if there was a problem. His answer? "Yeah, you're a girl. You intimidate them. Not by anything you do, more by what you are. You wear skirts and high heels and that scares them."

It took about three months before they stopped hiding from me. What eventually did it was the coffee machine carry-on. The old one broke, and they spent two solid weeks comparing every coffee machine on the market, price v spec, you can imagine. I got fed up with it, got money from petty cash, went to John Lewis and bought the one with the biggest jug.

They were horrified. My lack of consideration for their previous efforts forced them to actually speak to me - if only to point out I had wronged them. They threatened to booby trap my PC - I threatened to put them all on 40% tax deduction. I also threatened them with de-caff coffee and they buckled under the strain.

Gradually, they came to realise I was human, if a somewhat lesser species (in their eyes) and worthy of at least the occasional kind word. We settled into a decent working relationship, and I got to know them as people rather than just workmates. I still keep in touch with a couple of them - the more grounded-in-reality ones - and look back more or less fondly on that job.

What has always stuck in my mind was the office Christmas party. The boss declared that the party would be on the last working day before Christmas (a Friday) and that he'd supply the booze. We were free to invite partners. I was the only one who had a partner.

MrWitch and I were going out that night anyway, to his works' party, and we arranged that he'd meet me at work, we'd have a drink or two, then go on to his night out. I duly got myself dolled up - shorter skirt than normal and a bit more war-paint, and the party commenced. Our nerds were just getting used to the slightly more glam version of a young WeeWitch, when my beloved rolled up. Already half pissed, dressed up in Burtons' finest, slim tie, clean shaven, the works. Hair styled to within an inch of its life. Ready to party, 80's stylee.

We stood around for about fifteen of the longest, most awkward minutes of my life to date. Me, my nerdy friends, and my big, manual-worker boyfriend. They had absolutely nothing in common, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

After Christmas, back at work, only one of them mentioned the "party". He wanted to know if I thought changing his dress style would help get him a girlfriend. I did a bit of diplomatic skating around the subject, reluctant to confirm that uncombed hair and brown cords weren't exactly helping him and excused myself to the ladies' loo as fast as I could. It was never mentioned again.

I still look back fondly at that time, once the ice had been broken the guys were the most loyal of friends, and only the promise of more money (lots more money) lured me away to the dirty world of international insurance brokerage.

I remain a friend to every nerd I meet - even if some of them are kind of hard work. Which is probably why I hang around b3ta - it takes me back to my youth.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:09, 2 replies)

I thought it was only men
who'd go for the biggest jugs!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 15:39, closed)

Ba dum
Tssh!
(Xstopher, Tue 11 Mar 2008, 19:43, closed)