Stu Francis
..of Crackerjack (ahem) 'fame' circa 1983ish. I was 8 and staying in small guesthouse in Devon with the family for the summer holiday.

One morning at breakfast there he was scoffing toast and tea sitting at a table opposite us. I was in awe. STU FRANCIS! 'oooh, I could crush a grape/rip a tissue/piss on me gran' etc..was there in the flesh opposite ME.

So half hour or so passes and I get the courage to go ask him for his autograph just as he was getting up to leave.

'God, will people just LEAVE ME ALONE!' came the distinctly un child entertainer-like reply from his sour, moody looking face.

I nearly died, cried and pissed my pants all in a single moment of total humiliation and despair.

However, we had the last laugh. The next morning my older brother hid a nice, meaty, blood tinged bogey in the butter on his table.

Crush that in your mouth Francis, you fucking cunt.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Fri 26 May 2006, 12:54, Reply)