Snookered
When I was travelling up to Blackburn with a mate a few years ago on a busy M6, there was a large Mercedes coupe cutting up other cars and swerving between lanes. It was obvious about to go for the gap in front of us next. My mate having a 15 year old Cavalier with a dashboard that used to fall apart at speed wasn't too arsed about his car and put his foot down to close the gap, stopping the cnut-driven Merc. We glance over and see that in the passenger seat Jimmy White is grinning at us in a sort of "you pair of cnuts" way. He was banned from driving at that time and was on his way to a snooker tournament in Blackburn.

Another story that happened to a co-worker this week. He stopped at a service station on the M6 and popped into the shop to get a drink. The woman looks at him and says : "You look like that bloke off the telly."
My friend smiles back at her.
"Oh my God! You ARE that bloke off the telly!"
My friend smiles, winks, gets his change and walks off.
My friend isn't off the telly and doesn't look like anyone on the telly that anyone in the office could think of. Still, at least he made the day of the woman at the till.
(hagis_uk, Sat 27 May 2006, 14:10, Reply)