Shockoe Bottom
Shockoe Bottom is an area in downtown Richmond that's full of bars and clubs of all sorts. It's in the lowest lying area of the city, so when the wind is from the south the smell of the sewage treatment plant permeates the area. The smell of Shockoe Bottom is a fragrant and heady mixture of sweat, perfume, cigarettes and beer, overlaid with a tinge of ass.

Saturday nights are fun if you're into people watching. (In fact, it's where this happened.) You get the hiphop crowd mixing with the chavs, middle aged couples out recapturing their youth (I've seen more fiftysomething women in miniskirts down there than I like to think about), miscellaneous college kids stumbling around, and far too many well-padded women in over-tight and over-revealing clothing shivering on cold nights or sweating on hot nights as they stumble over the uneven brick sidewalks in their heels. (In fact, one night as Richard and I were following a pair of these I commented quietly that there went five women on four legs. But that's another subject altogether.)

One of my favorite places (now closed, sadly) was called St. Somewhere, a seedy dive whose only redeeming feature was a rooftop patio where I could sit and watch the carnival below. There were picnic tables up there and a bartender with a few coolers stuffed with ice and beer- what more could I ask for?

One such Saturday night Richard and I were sitting up there after a game of pool when a woman a few years older than me appeared and asked if she and her friends could join us, as there were no empty tables. "Of course!" I replied, ignoring Richard's somewhat aghast expression. "Lotsa room, sit down."

She sat next to me, and a rather stunning brunette in a very short and tight white dress slid in next to Richard. A few moments later a rather camp guy minced over and perched next to the brunette, and a very pretty little woman with curly brown hair landed on the other side of the woman who had initially approached me. I grinned as I watched Richard getting increasingly flustered by the presence of the brunette pressed against his thigh.

Eventually the brunette had to go to the bathroom. Her friend scooted over to let her out, but she chose to swing her leg over the bench to stand rather than slide down, giving me a good look at her bright yellow smiley face thong. I think Richard could have lifted the table without using his hands at that point.

The gay guy went downstairs and returned with a round of shots for all. The curly haired woman got up and started dancing and sidled up to the railing directly behind me. As she passed I got a good look at a very pretty elfin face, and admired her slender waist and nicely rounded bottom swaying next to me. Now the table would have been raised from two sides.

The guy returned with another round for them all, and the curly haired woman danced back to the end of the table as the guy sat down. They all drank their shots, and as the dancing woman drank hers she slowly gyrated her hips lower until she was squatting down and only her hand was visible on the edge of the table. Suddenly the guy started cursing, and the woman next to me said, "Okay, come on, downstairs," as she lifted the curly haired woman to her feet. They vanished down the stairs as the guy stood, shaking his leg with a look of disgust. "Damn it, why do straight women always end up puking on me?"

Richard and I looked at each other and he made a gesture toward the street. I nodded. We got up and I said, "Sorry to hear that, dude. Got someone to take her home?"

"Yeah, she lives up on Church Hill. We'll get her there."

As we got ready to go the two women reappeared, and the older one sat in my vacated seat and got the curly haired girl to lay down with her head in her lap. As we left I heard the curly haired woman slur, "But I can't be drunk- I'm a dermatologist!"

Crap. Could have hooked up with a doctor, had she not been so wasted that it would have constituted date rape. Oh well.

As we walked away Richard said to me, "Okay, don't ever invite someone to sit with us again, all right?"

Dunno what he was complaining about. It was the best entertainment I've ever had down there...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 14:41, 4 replies)

Nah! a dermatologist would be no use for you.
You'd have been better off if she had been a proctologist. *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:42, closed)

On the contrary, Mom would have been pleased.
After all, she married one! *laugh*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:48, closed)

Halcyon Nights in Richmond
I'm sure we've passed like ships in the night at the 4th street diner after the bars all closed. Nothing like a 'fried D with' to head off an impending hangover.
(Zupper, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 22:17, closed)

Oh god...
I'm not sure which is worse, the hangover from the booze of the hangover from the food there.

I had a friend once who worked as a waitress there for a time. Apparently they had one coffeepot with a rubber band on the handle that contained coffee for particularly annoying customers. They took turns taking it to the ladies' room for a refill.

Ever go to Bottom Billiards? It used to be a fun little run-down pool place, but these days it's become the hip-hop pool bar in Richmond. The last time I went in there we got some very curious looks as we were the only white faces in the entire place. (Which was actually okay- no one gave us any grief- but the music was a bit of a turn-off.)

And watching Tiki Bob's... now that was worth hanging out in Bottom Billiards for!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:18, closed)