Undercover carrot has just reminded me…
I, as I’m sure you’ll be aware by now, have enough trouble staying vertical when sober. When drunk, it’s rather like strapping roller skates to a new born foal and sending them onto a floor covered in ball bearings…

To cut a long and tedious story for once down to a manageable size, whilst out for my 21st birthday in a nightclub, I took a teeny tiny tumble down the stairs. I was wearing a short skirt and a pair of fairly sturdy knickers (not daft, me). As I hauled myself up, trying to collect what was left of my dignity off the floor, I caught said knickers in a nail which was sticking up off the staircase. There was a ripping of fabric…

I ran to the toilets to inspect the damage to both my undies and my arse. It was at this point that while trying to explain what had happened to my (by now laughing hysterically) friend, I uttered the words…

“I just fell down the stairs and now I have a huge gash in my pants…”

Suffice to say, that particular comment is haunting me even now, almost 15 years later.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:20, 12 replies)

May I be the first to say
Fnar fnar,
Snigger snigger,
Fnar fnar...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:27, closed)

Sorry Rak, there is only one way to put this...
...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*clickety*
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:40, closed)

I'm glad
I can remind you of your gash.

(sniggers)
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:45, closed)

Ha!
That's great! Well done! Absolutely gash-tastic!
( SpankyHanky, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:48, closed)

I hope the festivities...
...weren't unduly affected by excessive gash worries.

Sorry.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:51, closed)

*click*
Brilliant - just brilliant :)
( snee held his breath since, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:57, closed)

*click*
winner.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 17:01, closed)

I tried to hold back, but
This story made me titter!

Have a click.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 22:20, closed)

Haha
Magic!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 0:34, closed)

bwahaha
f'nar f'nar. click.
(harrumph, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 21:01, closed)

Top, top, top!
*click*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 7:50, closed)