PENCIL IN THE FANNY INCIDENT
I was at a club in Manchester chatting with a young lady. Nice enough girl. Petite, appeared to have the right number of eyes, ears, and only the one nose - she passed my extensive quality control criteria.

After slamming sambucca for a fucking long while I successfully steer the conversation onto sex. This girl lights up like a fucking Christmas tree. Sex is her favorite subject, so it seems.

"I've got an incredibly strong fanny!" she extolls, and I can feel my cock instantly fall in love with her.

"Oh?" I reply. "Pray, tell more."

But instead of talking she reaches into her clutch bag and pulls out something narrow and yellow from the assorted crap she has in there - she pulls out a pencil. She squirms forward on her seat a little, grasps the pencil firmly in a hand, and I look on, a strange combination of abject horror and utter erotic pleasure playing tennis in my mind, as she slides the pencil under her rather short skirt and between her legs.

"Put your head down there," she orders.

And I lower my head a little towards her abdomen and hear a distinct CRACK!!!, and as I lift my head back up she squirms a little more and her hand returns clutching half a pencil.

"The other bits fallen on the floor - look," she says.

And I do.

Laying on the carpet just under her stool is the other half of the pencil, glistening and wet in the dull light. And, yes, my cock was definately in love.

Obviously, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but lets just say I'm glad I didn't acquire graphite poisoning later that evening when I did the gentlemanly thing and walked her home...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 0:48, 5 replies)

I'd be scared
To put anything in there after that display.
(Scritty Bakerman., Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:41, closed)

What happened when you got to the hospital?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 10 Apr 2009, 2:35, closed)

I was reading down the page
and after eight poo stories, a sentence beginning "laying on the carpet just under her stool", and indeed the whole story, takes on a meaning very different to the one intended...
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 3:45, closed)

this makes this:
www.b3ta.com/board/9308892

more believeable
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 9:21, closed)

Disturbing
very disturbing... clicks
(Hotty, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 13:59, closed)