Once I went to a nightclub.
I danced for a bit, had a sensible level of alcohol, and then danced some more, before a young lady started talking to me. She gave me her number and we're now good friends.

I danced well loads, got absolutely trashed, danced like an idiot. Then some really fit bird with massive tits came up to me and said "I'm really horny" and let me grope her tits. Then I said "Let's fuck" and we went home and had sex, which was really good, due to my absolutely massive cock. And all her mates joined in. And she was actually Amanda Holden. And I spuffed on her tits. AND IT WAS AWESOME.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 11:05, 15 replies)

TRUTH!
Truth, I tell you!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:02, closed)

100% TRUTH
SHE'S IN MY BED RIGHT NOW.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:06, closed)

6000000
Woo!
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:09, closed)

*ding*
How many sperms are there in a Karl Hysteria ejaculation?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:12, closed)

1,
Because that's all you need. Or something. I don't know.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:17, closed)

Are we not playing Spunk Jeopardy?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:20, closed)

No.
Amanda says "Want a go on my tits?"
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:36, closed)

That's quite tempting
although I think I'd find it difficult not to picture Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan with their big buzzer boxes, and I think that might put me off my stride.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:39, closed)

She understands your predicament.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:41, closed)

BIVVY

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:16, closed)

Karl
You rock my world
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:56, closed)

:D

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:04, closed)

ha
You are Frank Spencer and I claim my $5
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 16:21, closed)

No.
I'm Karl Hysteria.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 0:20, closed)

Pictures
Or it didn't...etc...
(Zutroy started without you, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 10:48, closed)