Golf Clubs
One Summer, when I was back in my hometown from University, I feebly attempted to chat up a stunning young lady. Although I never did get my end away, it turned out that we both attended the same university and not only that, but we lived on the very same road, she was at 145 and i was in 158. A striking coincidence! As soft as it sounds, we actually became great friends and although, I lost the battle, There was still a war to be won: She must have attractive friends I thought!

When she asked me to go and celebrate her 21st birthday, my one track mind started running away with itself.

The theme was 80's Rockstars, the format was pub golf and the destination was Tokyo club.

Although I only knew my attractive friend, after a couple of swift hole-in-one's, I was getting along with everyone like a house on fire. The only problem was, her female friends were not the beautiful creatures i has yearned for but instead were ...how can I put this gently...as attractive as a donkey with downs syndrome. All of them.

Nevertheless, getting more pissed, being dressed as Tommy Lee and being the new guy, I was receiving alot of attention from these beauty challenged creatures.

Eventually, I was on the dancefloor in Tokyo when I noticed one of them staring at me through the crowd, being as pissed as I was I gave her the good old 'come hither' look expecting perhaps a cheeky dance and a snog. I was not prepared for what was about to happen.

She waddled over to me and before I knew it she had me pinned against the wall with her tongue down my throat and her hands wandering. Before I could mutter the words 'what the fuck!', I was in a cublcle in the conveniently unisex toilets with my kaks round my ankles and a large wobbly skinned beast approaching my attentive little soldier.

A few euphoric and at the same time life-scarring minutes later she stands up, wipes down and leaves.

I didnt hang around much longer after that and went home to bed satisfied that I had a cracking story to tell the lads the next day.

In the morning, adhereing to our hangover ritual we went to the local wetherspoons for a greasy fry up.

As I sat down, and started to explain the previous nights scenario to the now engrossed lads, I only paused to give the waitress my food order.

I'm sure you can guess who the waitress was now waiting for my order as she overheard my detailed explanation that you've just read of the sordid act she had performed on me just hours earlier.

Needless to say, our hangover ritual changed and I never went to that wetherpoons again!
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:46, 2 replies)

*Click*
'Attractive as a donkey with downs syndrome'

I blame you for laughing in work and any dismissal that follows it sir!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:51, closed)

I second that
"As attractive as a donkey with downs syndrome" has been taxed and filed.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 3:08, closed)