Dyslexia.
Pretending* to have it has got me a few laughs/diffused a tricky situation or two.

Being shouted out by some sort of security (not in a nightclub) man for using the disabled toilets. "But I am dyslexic!" "not the right type of disability, son" "No, I don't mean that gives me the right to use it; I simply misread the sign."

*There is an outside chance I actually have it.
(ste_mc_efc, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:58, 1 reply)

I once pretended to be an airline pilot,
a la "Catch Me If You Can", to cop off with a classy bird.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:12, closed)

I
once told a girl I was a pilot (when I was in the University Air Squadron) but all my mates had said they were post men so guess who she believed...

So I went off and tried to chat up a couple of girls who turned out to be lesbians as we were in a gay bar (which we didn't know till the next day)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:15, closed)

Surely the handlebar 'taches,
leather caps and bad fitting lezza jeans gave you a hint?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:58, closed)

It should have
but we'd been on the ale since 5 and it was the only place open
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:01, closed)

Hmmmmmm...
Hmmmmmm...
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:22, closed)

Honest!
Really! Honest!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:32, closed)