Beluga
Is (or was) a smallish club down a side street in Sheffield. I guess I must have found it by chance; the music was generally townie rubbish, but it was at least danceable.

And that's mostly why I go to nightclubs -- to get moderately drunk and dance. Attempting to make or follow conversations with strangers while aurally assaulted by deafening music is not really my thing. Even if it's good deafening music.

1) I was dancing. A tallish blonde woman walks up to me and shouts "I love you!". Say what? I am nonplussed, and, indeed flummoxed as well. Thus I just sort of stop dancing and stand there. She shouts again, but I'm still lost for words -- so she storms off, and spends the next 20 minutes scowling at me with her friends until they leave.

A week of so later she reappears, but prefers to keep to the scowl/ disappear part of her repertoire.

2) Two sexeh ladies of near-identical and attractive appearance sidle up to me and ask if I have a light. "No", I say, for indeed I do not smoke. But before my next words (there's a pattern here, I believe), they are gone. I resolve to buy a lighter forthwith, and take it out with me at all times.

No-one has ever asked me for a light since, although in Leeds once a rather gruff gentleman asked me if he could buy a cigarette (for he was, I assume, too proud to cadge one).

3) I am engaged in determined conversation by a couple, who are out for the night celebrating the birthday of their female friend who was with them. I suspect they were trying to set me/her up ... but I think the young lady's attitude was somewhat at odds with this plan. Thusly, after I make a brief but necessary trip to the gents at one point, I return to find they have vanished.

The barman, who had seemingly thought me about to pull, gave a fleetingly puzzled look, followed by a consoling smile.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 13:44, 1 reply)

Always always always carry a lighter
It's saved me from a beating on 2 seperate occasions- once because I could give some drugged up twat who didn't like non-smokers a light and the other because it was one of the cheap-ass Poundland ones with an LED and I was able to see that there weren't in fact any stairs outside the unlocked stairwell door, only a 2 floor drop.

Plus they're useful if the barman doesn't have a light for flaming drinks :P
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:17, closed)