when we first passed our tests, driving to the pub was a novelty
this did not last beyond the age of 17, clearly.

anyway, one evening we decided to go to the hacienda for a night of major clubbing. my friend evie and i offered to drive. we started off by enjoying the delights of "the george" in stockport, which for anyone who has ever been to stockport, is really not that delightful. after last orders, we were going onto town, so everyone piled into my beetle or my friend evie's peugeot. as we rounded the corner by "the george", evie's sunroof flew open and our friend sam popped out of it, shouting and waving at the happy stockport revellers.

two seconds later, the blues and twos fly out of a side street and evie gets pulled over. we could only drive on and wait. about 30 mins later the second car pulls up, still driven by evie. but minus sam. it turned out that the police had tried to give evie points - on the basis that the driver is responsible for all passengers - and sam had barged in to give them some serious abuse.

when she told them that her name was "samantha blow-job" and she lived at "42 fuck-you avenue", the police reached the end of their tether, chucked her in the back of the van, and drove off with her. we did not know what to do. she was 16. and most of us were leathered. so we called the police station.

"hi, have you got our friend? slim, long dark hair, about sixt- eighteen. eighteen." they were helpful at first. then turned steely.

"name of sam? yeah. we've got her." hung up.

what else could we do? gigantic cool clubbing no longer an option, we slunk home.

she eventually rocked up the following afternoon. apparently the sergeant had kept trying to interview her, and she kept laughing at him until they locked her in a cell and left her. at about 5am she woke up. not in a cool club. not snogging some hot bloke. not tangled in a heap with her drunken mates to relive the night before hitting mcdonald's for a hangover cure. cold. alone. in a cell.

the policeman who had woken her up was smiling at her. "it's not funny now, is it?" he said. sam shook her her head. "do you want to go home?" he continued kindly. sam nodded. he burst out laughing. "now THAT'S funny," he said, and slammed the door shut behind him.

they let her out at lunchtime in the end.

just realised this is probably a massive re-post. sorry, but suck it up like good little bitches!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Mar 2011, 10:03, 2 replies)

The George
Is currently shut down. Quel surprise.
(57841, Sat 26 Mar 2011, 17:44, closed)

Ah, The George
Shut down, again. The only time I went in there somebody nicked my bike chained up outside. At about 6pm. In full view of rush hour traffic opposite the packed 192 bus stop. Bloody Stockport. =(
(Xstopher, Sun 27 Mar 2011, 3:04, closed)