A New Life In Spain
I just remembered another tale which should have put me off drinking for a while, but didn't.

When i was about 19 I was really good friends with Ben. We used to go up the local pub and drink loads of shots and nick road signs on the way home, wee on people's driveways, the usual. The good thing was that we didnt want to shag each other, so we could actually be proper boy-girl-mates without that sexual tension and trying not to have bad breath after a fag etc etc.

One night we were up the pub, walking back to my house I shared with my Dad when we decided that we didnt want the night to end. "I know! Let's move to Spain!" somehow came up. So off we trotted, back to mine, I woke my Dad up to ask where my passport was and told him I was moving to Spain. He just wanted a quiet life and to go back to sleep so pointed me in the right direction and let me get on with it. I packed a bag for my new life in Spain, and we called a taxi to take us to Gatwick. We went via Ben's and he also packed a bag. We were all set.

£30 later and at Gatwick, i then proceeded to phone my work answerphone and leave a message for my boss saying I was moving to Marbella, and then rang 3 of our clients to leave them messages to the effect of 'thanks for your business, lovely working with you but im actually moving to Spain tonight'. Rang my Mum who was working a night shift and she went fucking mental, but I was too pissed to care. Sat down for five minutes while waiting for Check-in to open for an Easy-Jet flight, fell asleep and woke up at 5am, sober-ish and realised what we had actually done.

Had to get a taxi all the way back which was another £30. Didn't feel too clever on Monday when I was speaking to our clients who all found it hilarious, the best bit was finding out what we had actually packed;-

Me
1 x denim skirt
1 x spotty top
1 x tin pantene pro v hairspray
3 x pairs knickers

Ben
1 x towel
6 x pairs socks.

Still makes me laugh.
(natakins, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:13, 6 replies)

Always know where your towel is.
Good story, I'd really have liked to hear the phone calls to your clients :)
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:22, closed)

Interestingly, I ended up living in Marbella as a direct result of taking loads of massive drugs
don't think anyone has ever decided to come here sober
( broadsword w⚓, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:25, closed)

click for simple lolz
i liked this
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:27, closed)

Six pairs of socks? AND a towel?
Clearly a homosexual.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:32, closed)

potentially
after all, we never shagged.
(natakins, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:48, closed)

Clicky
For sheer wild abandon.
(HarvsPenzance was tired and confused at, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 0:12, closed)