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This is a question I'm glad nobody saw me

Have you ever done something, realised how stupid or embarrassing it was and then looked about to see if anyone watching? Did you get away with it?

Suggested by Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic, chosen by YOU

(, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 15:49)
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roasted loin of pea with a rose tinted jus.
Started working for a new company. day 5 in my new shiny job, and i feel the bowels of brimstone begin to gear up for a toilet mugging.
capitulating to the will of my sulphurous masters, i make my way to the toilet, and have a gargantuan shit. we're not talking a normal human poop, this thing felt like shitting captain caveman's club sideways, i thought it would have to be born by c-section, i'm sweating like a madman, there's a stench like a million dogfarts stored in a room full of unwashedf socks, for a brief moment i went blind, and i saw the face of god- he looked unimpressed.
now up until this point it's normal. everyday. mundane. however i should point out i'm wearing a coat (on my way out for lunch) now being a large gentleman (just large not fatc per se) it's a tight squeeze in these minimalist midget toilets (even the bog itself is retardedly low- at 6'3" that's a long way to haul ass) and as i stand up,holding the trousers of immobilising doom, my jacket catches the stupidly placed loo-roll holder.
tottering, i am left with one option, to fall back , regroup, and try a new assault. so i flop back onto the silly low toilet, at which point it loudly and rather definitively informs me i'm not a safe weight to be dropped onto it at such a forceful and untoward angle, and becomes VERY unstable.
leaping to my feet like a startled cat, i pull up my keks, and turn round to be greeted by the sight of the water draining rapidly from the bowl (god knows where to- the floor was dry as a statue's tit) and my bowel behemoth jutting proudly forth from the water like a diorama of some majestic mountain range, complete with toilet paper snow.

i did what any sensible, responsible employee would do.

i checked for witnesses, flushed, and left rapidly.
i feel for the poor maintenance man who had to wrangle mount crapatoa..
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 0:01, 7 replies)

"mount crapatoa"
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 6:02, closed)
This gets an "I like"
purely for mount crapatoa!
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 9:38, closed)
We call that a "Hazard To Shipping"
as I imagine the ships having to detour around Craplantis as it rises from the depths...
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 14:11, closed)
...you filled the bowl then broke the porcelain?

Funny all the same, and well-written too. Have some clickage...
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 14:27, closed)
Made me laugh.
Have a click!
(, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 16:17, closed)
Ordinarily poo stories leave me cold
but well done to you! *click*
(, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 12:46, closed)
Truly ROFL
Mt. Krapatoa, bwah ha ha.
(, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 17:41, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1