Toxic Timber
I had a fellow work on my house a few years back, before the drugs took hold and they had to cart him away. The fellow brought over to my house a lot of chemical paraphernalia, including a can of a smelly, oily substance that I didn't recognize. The can was labeled 'Wood Preservative'. I had to figure out some way to discard the nausea-inducing toxic liquid.

One of home improvment projects had been to place timbers along the edge of the driveway, and I thought maybe that was a good way to use the liquid; precisely as advertised, as a wood preservative for the timbers. So, I spilled the liquid onto one timber and used a paint brush to spread it out.

Unfortunately, whatever the substance was, it wasn't the least bit tolerable. It smelled awful and stank up the neighborhood. Increasingly concerned, I dug the timber up out of the ground and quickly hid it in my yard. A minute later, the policeman who lived next door poked his head out of his house and began investigating the source the terrible stench.

I had to dispose of the timber, and quick, but how? Where can you toss big toxic stuff, fast? I laid out some rags and newspapers in my car, tossed the timber inside, and sped off.

It's amazingly difficult to dispose of large objects in an urban setting without people noticing. At least the timber wasn't anything bigger, like a human body. How do murderers get away with their crimes? Corpses are sizable. If you leave bodies about, people notice immediately!

Gasping for air, I drove to and fro, and eventually tossed the timber behind some new houses: illegal dumping at the least, and maybe some kind of environmental crime too. The liquid tainted my car's upholstery, and I had to smell the liquid for a month. My neighbor asked probing questions about odd odors in the area, and I feigned ignorance. Eventually I anonymously turned the liquid over to the authorities.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 8:48, 10 replies)

Shame it wasn't something
flammable that you were trying to get rid of, you could have burnt it.
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 8:49, closed)

Was going to say
that the red diamond symbol on the side with what looks like a flame in the middle means you could've breathed on it whilst having a cig to ignite it and kept the neighbours indoors with a cloud of toxic smoke!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:25, closed)

It probably was flammable
But it's the same problem, but worse. Fire attracts attention!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:26, closed)

I'm missing something here.
You've got a tin of wood preservative that smells funny. You put it on some wood, then you have to hide it from the police . . .

What exactly was the problem?

Is this some kind of fence pun? a-fencive weapon?
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:36, closed)

The smell was so bad it would attract crowds
Worse than sewage: worse than anything.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:39, closed)

OK
well I must have missed whatever film this is based on.
(username failed moderation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:53, closed)

Is this another Star Wars retelling?

(ubergeekian, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:37, closed)

Oh, man!
MASSIVE CREOSOTE!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 9:59, closed)

I used to like the smell of creosote.
That may explain a lot.
( gone, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 10:06, closed)

I like the smell of petrol,
but I'm not going to attempt to pass it off as some illicit substance.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 10:40, closed)