Not Losing Your VirginityThink back, way back, to when you were a spotty virgin.* It was all a bit overwhelming, wasn't it? I remember going to see a band as a teenager and standing behind a girl who I kinda liked, but who had been showing a lot of interest in a friend for the past week. She reached back and squeezed my leg.
I panicked. Brain decided that she'd clearly made a mistake and thought I was my friend: "Er, you've got the wrong bloke"
It was hours before I worked out what was going on.
So, tell us the stories of when you failed to lose your virginity - whether through your own ineptitude or simply because they scared the bejesus out of you.
* Apologies to spotty virgins out there. Wash.
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chthonic, Fri 27 Oct 2006, 12:13)
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Never mention Rohypnol around a drunk girlFlashback: This summer. I work as a whitewater guide, presumably a job that is second only to millionare and fireman in its ability to get a girl wet. Damn bit of good it's done me. A group of girls, known as the Shimmy Girls after an incident on the river, come up every summer to our company, and in past years, they have enjoyed getting shitfaced as well as getting the rocks off of every guide that asks. Cue my coworkers pulling me along, attempting to get me to drink (yes i'm sober, whoop-de-do), attempting to at least get me to swish Allen's coffee brandy (saying that chicks dig drunk dudes, something that I am now convinced is true), and convincing me that there is no way I can leave without getting off.
We get to their cabin, and a fellow guide throws a can of PBR in my hand, so I don't look like too much of an idiot. I was wearing my only clean shirt, my "Math is Power" shirt, so I figured at least attempting to pose couldn't hurt. We go in, drinking ensues, and the girls inevitably figured out my soberness, not helping my chances any. Someone mentions that someone could have spiked their drink, I drop the word Rohypnol, and after every girl gives me a wierd look realize that there is no way in hell I am getting laid.
I felt like an idiot at the time, but at least I got some wanking material that night, as well as a good amount of free food (hell I didn't get any, and I didn't drink, I figured I was entitled to take as much food as I could carry.) Also, the most any of the other guides got was a handjob, so it wasn't like I was cheated. The part I will most remember, however, is the free porno. I had forgotten the bet I had made beforehand with another guide that he would buy me 50 bucks worth of porn if I couldn't manage to get laid that night. I got a bag o' porn the next week that kept me very happy for the rest of the summer. Win-Win situation!
*still a virgin, but not spotty*
(, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 5:51, Reply)
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