I swear to God
You limeys are the most constipated nation!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 14 Dec 2010, 2:58, 2 replies)

That's because our diet isn't based largely on deep-fried pork fat
I'm not including the Scots in that statement, obviously
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 14 Dec 2010, 11:22, closed)

Big poos aren't necessarily due to consiptation - sometimes quite the opposite
I find I produce the biggest turds when I've been eating plenty of fiber and thus keeping my bowels clear. If you aren't getting enough fiber (or drinking enough water for that matter) then you'll end up with horribly dehydrated (and thus smaller) faeces which get broken up in the bowels and stick around for ages blocking other faeces from getting past which in turn get dehydrated etc. The biggest crap I ever did was after a month or so of really healthy eating and the day after eating a load of veg and two bowls of homemade bean and vegetable soup. This thing was about 6-7 inches in circumference (it was about as thick as my arm which I've just measured - I didn't measure the turd) and about two feet long. It broke in the narrow bit of the toilet about a quarter of the way along and then stood upright coming to just below the rim of the toilet. I really wish I'd taken a photo because I'm sure you all think I'm exaggerating when I'm really not. Surprisingly it only took a couple of seconds to produce this monster - it just slid out with no effort at all. It took me about 15 minutes to get the bastard to flush though - I had to repeatedly chuck buckets of water on it while flushing all the time having visions of having to pull my giant poo snake out of the toilet bowl and dispose of it in the communal bins outside - at least it wouldn't have stunk the place up since it actually just smelled of bean soup.

Since then I restrict myself to one bowl of bean soup in a day.
(mmm....beer, Tue 14 Dec 2010, 15:14, closed)