By her holding all the cards and by my having no choice whatsoever but to swallow anything and everything she throws at me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:40, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

But...but...she's so obviously off her fucking rocker
that's a really shit fucking deal. Sorry to state the blindingly obvious here. It's just that I'm perfectly aware that she's a lolmental and then you'll come out with something so utterly, bafflingly preposterous that I've no choice but to think, 'well, wow. She could lick every window on the Gherkin and still have mental left over...'
(berk, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:45, Reply)

You have a delightful turn of phrase
and I cannot tell you how helpful it is to me to have someone unconnected with this shit on a day-to-day basis tell me that I am not going mad and it really is fucking unbelievable.

At the end of this most recent barrage she came out with

'PLEASE STOP TEXTING ME UNLESS IT'S ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:48, Reply)

We are talking proper pants-on-head-say-wibble, here
Why the fuck would you steal her passport? Why the fuck would you want to text that absolute basketcase and get an earful of abuse unless it was about your daughter anyway? Jesus!
(berk, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:53, Reply)

These were my questions.
Answers came there none.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)

At least, from what I know
your little 'un is turning out to be awesome and nothing like her mother.
(berk, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:58, Reply)

She makes it all worthwhile.
That innoccuous sentence really is actually an immense endorsement when you think what 'it all' actually entails.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 18:00, Reply)

Anyway, see ya - I'm off home x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 18:02, Reply)

Tell her
That if she doesn't get her act together, I'm gonna buy you that George the Bear outfit and chain you to a crane by one of the Olympic venues.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:53, Reply)

*prays she continues to be menkle*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:54, Reply)

Thinking about it
George was a couple of grand, I wonder if it can be rented?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:58, Reply)

For cash, with a bogus contact address?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:59, Reply)

I don't know if he is still for sale.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 18:01, Reply)

How
Convenient that you enjoy swallowing more than anything else.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 17:47, Reply)