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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm not sure about the first section...it's very 'machine gun fire'.
The second section makes more sense...
I think it's because it's so fragmentary - if it was set in a longer piece...maybe only a couple of sentences at the beginning to set the scene...but then again I rather like going straight into the action...Perhaps a line or two interspersed with that action at the beginning...But then again that might weaken the impact.
Hmm...I dunno....
I do really like the anger that comes off it though.
( , Fri 4 Jul 2008, 18:09, Reply)
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